been genuinely worried that Chloe might have done something drastic. âI thought a change of scene, away from people that knew her, might help. I imagined,â she recalled, âthat after the birth sheâdâ¦â
âBe overcome by maternal instincts.â Rafe gave a scornful snort.
âPeople are,â Tess retorted indignantly.
âA classic case of optimism overcoming whatâs right under your nose. Chloe was never going to give up partying to stay at home and baby-sit. I canât believe you were that stupid.â
âWhy?â she asked, roused to anger by his superior, condescending attitude. It was easy for him to condemnâhe hadnât been there; he couldnât possibly understand what it had been like. âYou donât usually have any problem believing Iâm an idiot!â She shook her head miserably.
âI donât know why Iâm even telling you all this. It wonât make any difference. The fact is, Chloe is his mother and if she wants him thereâs nothing, short of skipping the country, that I can do about it! I wish now Iâd adopted him legally myself when she suggested it,â she ended on a bleak note of self-condemnation.
âDonât worry,â she added, slanting him a small, bitter smile. âI havenât got the cash to skip the country.â
That was another thing that had been nagging away at him. Tess had lived a starkly simple life since sheâd moved here, she owned this place outright, had no debts that he was aware of, and she must have made a tidy pile during her brief but successful career. Yet this place needed a lick of paint. In fact it needed a lot of thingsânot big things, butâ¦And when had she stopped running a car? He couldnât remember; it hadnât seemed important at the time. But covering the primaries in the States had been? In light of Tessâs distress there was a big question mark hanging over his priorities.
âI could lend it to you.â
Just as well he didnât know how tempting she found his offer, even though she knew it was meant as a joke. ââNeither a borrower nor a lender be,ââ she quoted sadly.
âI canât believe youâve fooled everyone all this time.â Rafe was looking at her as though he were seeing her for the first time. It had taken him long enough to get his head around the idea that she was a motherânow heâd have to unlearn something that had been surprisingly hard for him to accept in the first place.
âIt wasnât intentional, it just sort of happened,â she replied, knowing her explanation sounded lame.
âYou didnât just sort of happen to give up a great job you loved. You didnât just sort of happen to spend over a year of your life bringing up someone elseâs child.â
âI forgot that sometimes,â she admitted. âThat he wasnât really mine,â she explained self-consciously. âAnd I know what I did must seem a bit surreal to you now, but it was never meant to be a permanent solution. Chloe didnât want Ben, she wanted to give him up, have him adopted. It seemed so awfully final. You hear about women who have given up their babies suffering, never coming to terms with the regret.
âI didnât want that to be Chloe ten years down the line. I thought it was only a matter of time before she realised, and then I suppose as time went on I lost sight of the fact I was just a stopgap.â With a choked sound she buried her face in her shaking hands. âI was right, wasnât I? She has realised that she wants him. Only itâs been so long Iâ¦â
âGod, Tess!â Rafe thundered, banging his fist angrily down on a blameless bureau. A dozen images he didnât even know heâd retained of Tess with the baby drifted through his mindâshe loved that kid and he loved her. Mother or no mother, they should be