1995 - The UnDutchables Read Online Free PDF

provides temporary escape from the surrounding brick and concrete. In any case, houseboat living is ‘ ethnic .’ Even though most houseboats have been permanently retired from their conventional roles and never go anywhere, the owners tend to work incessantly to keep the propulsion system in pristine condition.
    In Utrecht, the red-light district basically consists of a row of houseboats.

Chapter 5
    A GROWING CONCERN
Flower Power
    If you want to express thanks, gratitude or sympathy to a cloggy , give flowers ( bloemen , sounds like ‘blue men’). If you would like to apologize or patch up a quarrel, resort to flowers. If you are invited to dinner at a Dutch home, be sure to arrive bearing flowers.
    The Dutch offer flowers to each other on all sorts of occasions. Where some nationalities would send a greeting card or others would arrive with a gift or other token, the Dutch say it with flowers. A cloggy on a Bicycle with a large bunch of flowers is as symptomatic as a Frenchman carrying a long, thin loaf of bread.
    Bunches of bloemen should ideally be carried petal-down, in order for the excess water (from their previous abode) to leak through the wrapping and run down your leg. Display the wrappered, soggy bundle in front of your hosts immediately upon arrival. They will transform before your eyes, as the essence of their cloggy -being is reflected in an expression of ephemeral euphoria on their faces. A flower-grooming and -rehabilitation ceremony will take place before you are invited to join them in their humble dwelling.
    When you enter a Dutch home, be certain to take a machete with you to hack your way through the growth. The Dutch are proud of their obsession with plants and flowers to such a degree that the average living room resembles more a sub-tropical jungle than European living quarters.
    When you finally find a place to sit, your gaze will undoubtedly fall upon additional vases of freshly cut flowers, prominently and strategically enshrined in highly visible locations. Further growth is nurtured just outside the windows, in both the front and back gardens where available or, in flats, on the window ledges or balconies. Given the diminished dimensions of a Dutch dwelling, the lovely leaves limit Lebensraum to ludicrous lengthlessness.
    The image of horticultural Holland is the tantalizing tulip. Yet these tulips are less visible than the purely green goddesses in the domestic environment. Tulips are bought by the bunch, box and bushel, mainly for the benefit of others, or as a showpiece. As with so many other things, the tulip has been made a symbol of Dutchness… of the Dutch, by the Dutch and for the non-Dutch . Chapter 19 explores this myth in greater detail.
Guilder Builder
    Needless to say, the flower industry thrives and therefore is a major source of revenue for the country. In parts of the remaining countryside, flower fields resemble a colourful patchwork quilt. Colder months and temperamental genuses are no obstacle to the industry, thanks to greenhouses.
    In towns and cities, flower shops, stalls and barrows are abundant—with prices to suit every pocket. Holland is the largest exporter of cut flowers in the world. The flowers are sold daily to vendors at a large flower auction in Aalsmeer. The method used is the democratic ‘Dutch auction’ (called ‘Chinese auction’ by the Dutch) whereby the sellers bring the price down until someone makes the first bid.
    Every ten years, a huge horticultural exhibition called the Floriade is held in Holland. This is a doubly-joyful occasion for Hollanders since they can bask in the excitement of two of their favourites: flowers and money. Or can they? The 1982 Floriade lost approx. HFL 9 million and despite this, it was considered an outstanding success. The reasoning ( clogic ) was that as the actual cost was HFL 36 million, they enjoyed a HFL 36-million show for only HFL 9 million. The 1992 spectacle boasted 2 million bulbs and 3.3 million visitors,