(1941) Up at the Villa Read Online Free PDF Page A

dependent on me. When
anything went wrong, if he got into trouble, if he was ill, it was me he came
to for help. He clung to me like a child.’
    Her voice broke.
    `He was so broken then that my heart bled for him. Though
he was unfaithful to me, though he hid himself from me so that he could drink
without restraint, though I exasperated him sometimes so that, he hated me,
deep down he always loved me, he knew I'd never let him down and he knew that
except for me he'd go all to pieces. He was so beastly when he was drunk he had
no friends, only the riff-raff that sponged on him and bled him and robbed him;
he knew I was the only person in the world who cared if he lived or died and I
knew that I was the only person who stood between him and absolute ruin. And
when he died, in my arms, I was broken-hearted.’
    The tears were flowing down Mary's face and she made no
effort to restrain them. Rowley, thinking perhaps that it
would relieve her to cry, sat still and said no word. Presently he lit a
cigarette.
    `Give me one too. I'm being stupid.’
    He took a cigarette out of his case and handed it to her.
    `I'd like my handkerchief. It's in my bag.’
    The bag was between them and when he opened it to find
her handkerchief he was surprised to feel a revolver.
    `What have you got a gun here for?”
    ‘Edgar didn't like the idea of my driving about alone. He
made me promise to take it. I know it's idiotic.’
    But the new subject that Rowley had brought up helped her
to regain her self-control.
    `I'm sorry to have got so emotional.’
    `When did your husband die?’
    `A year ago. And now I'm
thankful he died. I know now that my life was wretched with him and he had
nothing to look forward to but hopeless misery.’
    `He was young to die, wasn't he?'
    'He was smashed up in a motor accident. He was drunk. He
was driving at sixty miles an hour and skidded on a slippery road. He died in a
few hours. Mercifully I was able to get to him. His last words were: "I've
always loved you, Mary."' She sighed.
    `His death has given us both freedom .’
    For a little while they sat and smoked in silence. Rowley
lit another cigarette on the stub of the first.
    `Are you sure you're not committing yourself to a slavery
just as great when you marry a man who means nothing to you?' he asked, as
though their conversation had gone on without interruption.
    `How well do you know Edgar?’
    `I've met him fairly often during the five or six weeks
he's been here dangling at your skirts. He's the Empire builder; it's not a
type that has ever very much appealed to me.’
    Mary giggled.
    `No, I should hardly think it would. He's-strong, he's
clever, he's trustworthy.’
    `Everything I'm not, in short.’
    `Can't we leave you out of it for the minute?’
    `All right. Go on with his
virtues.’
    `He's kind and considerate. He's ambitious. He's a man
who has done great things and he'll do still greater in future. It may be I can
help him. I can't hope that you'll think it anything but idiotic when I tell
you that I should like to be of some use in the world.’
    `You haven't got a very good opinion of me, have you?’
    `No, I haven't' chuckled Mary.
    `I wonder why?’
    `If you'd like to know I'll tell you, she answered coolly.
    `Because you're a waster and a rotter. Because you think of nothing but having a good time and as many women as are
fools enough to fall for you.’
    `I look upon that as a very accurate description. I was lucky
enough to inherit an income which made it unnecessary for me to earn my living.
Do you think I should have got some job that would have taken the bread out of
the mouth of a poor devil who needed it? So far as I
know I've only got this one life to dispose of. I like it awfully. I'm in the
fortunate position of being able to live for living's sake. What a fool I
should be if I didn't make the most of my opportunities! I like women, and
strangely enough they like me. I'm young and I know youth