12 Good Reasons to Look Up Uranus Read Online Free PDF Page B

with your ‘Rockfords’.
    Lucky suspension: Transverse leaf-spring
Lucky fabric: Horizontal stripes
    P ISCES
    This afternoon there will be some confusion in Waitrose when you ask an assistant if they have any tinned pears in stock. They will only have syrup, so you may have to settle
for cling peaches in a rich onion gravy as usual. A square between Mercury and Pluto on Wednesday means that the usual Friday night ‘bar-maggot-race’ at the local pub may be cancelled
due to an influx of the ‘wrong sort’.
    Lucky polymer: Long-chain
Lucky snack: Bread-pudding

W EEKLY F ORECAST FOR
21 ST TO 27 TH M ARCH
    A RIES
    The Full Moon in Mercury means a crisis of confidence on Wednesday afternoon when you suddenly find that you’ve lost the ability to tell the difference between Stork and
Butter. Swift action by a passing Rosecrucian will soon rectify the problem and you’ll be back to normal by the weekend.
    Lucky envelope: DL
Lucky cough: Throaty
    T AURUS
    The waning Moon in Mars means that on Wednesday you will receive a surprise call from the new Wales Manager, who, having checked your credentials, offers you a game at Fly-Half
on Saturday. Unfortunately, you will have other plans, as a dodgy prawn Bhuna on Thursday evening will see you taking very small, careful steps to recovery.
    Lucky composer: Prokofiev
Lucky river: Limpopo
    G EMINI
    The New Moon in Pisces indicates a busy time. You will start the week in a whirl of activity, but on the whole it is positive and productive until Thursday when a quick
lunchtime drink turns into a three day Cinzano-fuelled binge and you wake up in Lowestoft with a tattoo of Bernard Matthews on your left thigh, and an uncontrollable addiction to whelks.
    Lucky publication: The Guinness Book of Revelations
Lucky snack: Vesta Chow Mein
    C ANCER
    A restless start to the week is indicated, particularly following the weekend Saturn-Uranus. On Wednesday, you will finally discover the reason for your reluctance to abandon
the bachelor lifestyle when you are diagnosed as a curable romantic. You’ll be particularly clumsy on Thursday, so the ‘Jack Douglas’ 731-piece tea service might prove a good
investment after all.
    Lucky disguise: Reg Varney
Lucky shoe protectors: Blakeys
    L EO
    A part-time job, or hobby may reach its natural conclusion this week. A fascinating trine between mysterious Neptune and Uranus, planet of surprises will mean that on Tuesday
you will get into a violent quarrel about pickled cabbage with a truculent bottle-blonde. Swift action by a passing Quantity Surveyor will save the day and the bruises will start to fade by the
weekend.
    Lucky sensation: Tingling
Lucky marmalade: Grapefruit
    V IRGO
    Nobody knows the trouble you’ve seen. Except for Sharon at number 16, that is. You know – the lady with the poodle and the binoculars? However, Saturn rising on
Wednesday will lead to an immediate improvement in your fortunes, as you will receive good news about the screaming noise from your airing cupboard, which is not a faulty thermostat as you feared,
but a bogeyman, which even terrifies the wolves under your bed.
    Lucky bird: Corn-Grunting
Lucky hinge: Rising-butt
    L IBRA
    Thursday’s Pluto square to your birthsign means that while digging the foundations for a new Trebuchet, you will discover an ancient stone tablet on which mystic runes
are carved. Oddly enough, when you finally find someone to translate them from ancient Ogham, it will turn out to be a copy of the third edition of the Des O’Connor songbook.
    Lucky cartoon: Noggin the Nog
Lucky relative: Great Aunt
    S CORPIO
    With Mercury high in the section of your chart that governs your career you should buy that safari-suit you’ve been admiring for weeks – A smart outfit will come in
handy when you need to start looking for another part-time job. You may experience a setback towards the end of the week, when you find out that despite a positive test, it is squirrels.
    Lucky hash: