03 Before The Devil Knows You're Dead-Speak Of The Devil Read Online Free PDF Page B

us.”
    “There is no ‘us’ Matt. We’ve broken up, that means you’re staying away from me.” I tried to scoot away. “No more kissing. No more touching. No getting jealous of other men who talk to me. We can’t have that together anymore.”
    “Why? Why can’t we be together anymore? You’re the only one who’s hung up on all this.”
    “You’ve almost died twice because of me, Matt. Twice. Don’t you understand? Do you have any idea what it will be like for me if you die because of me? I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t live with the knowledge that your own people could, and would, hurt you for loving me, that they would try to kill you to keep us apart.”
    “I can’t die,” he said . “I will never die unless someone finds a holy relic and jams it in my chest and we both know the likelihood of that is about ten billion to one. So why are you really doing this? It’s not because you’re afraid I’m going to die. Why won’t you let us be together?”
    “Why? Because I’m a demon and you’re the Supreme Leader of the Angale. Any sane person would know that means there is a huge line dividing us and we can’t breach it. That hallway up there is our version of the Berlin Wall. Why can’t you see it?”
    “Because I’m in love with you.” He grabbed my face, pulling me close. He pressed his lips against mine and the entire world fell away, letting me get lost in the feel of home. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me into his lap.
    “Don’t do this to us,” he said against my mouth and my resolve began to crumble. “Don’t ruin what we are because you’re afraid. Trust me. I won’t let you get hurt.”
    “I can’t,” I said before he kissed me again, silencing my protests. I wanted to. Alpha protect me from harm I wanted to make it work between us. I wanted to be in love and maybe get married and I wanted to be the one annoying Lisa with what it was like to have morning sickness, which terrified me more than everything else combined. I wanted all those things that mortal women my age wanted and I couldn’t have them. I wasn’t stupid. I knew what happened when someone like me tried to overreach. People ended up dead or suffering or trapped in a life they never intended.
    “Yes you can.” He pulled my face down, kissing my eyelids and running his fingers over the contours of my cheeks. “You can trust me with everything, Faith. I won’t let you get hurt. Believe in me.”
    I did believe in him. That was the problem. I believed in how good he could be. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. The problem was, I knew what I was. What I could do and how it would destroy him one day. How it would wear him down, trying to juggle his responsibilities to them and his life with me. He’d look back one day and he’d see all he had to give up to make it work between us and he’d realize I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t worth all the pain and suffering he would have to endure balancing a life leading the Angale against a life with me. I never had been. Then he’d leave and what would I do?
    “Trust us,” he said.
    “I do,” I said and felt tears forming in my eyes. “It’s stupid and probably suicidal but I do trust you. I want this but—”
    “Forget about everything else,” Matt said and then pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “We’ll take it as it comes; all you have to do is keep trusting in the two of us.”
    “What if this is too much for us? This life? This craziness? How are we supposed to survive this together?”
    “Our lives were a lot simpler before we were together. Or at least mine was. Boringly simple.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
    “Do you think you’ll regret it? Later?”
    “Will I regret us? No. Not in the slightest. My life was boring before you, endless days of nothing but surviving and trying not to draw attention to myself. Then there was you, so bright and vibrant and I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you. Did