or engulf people in flames. I could not shapeshift into an animal or anything for that matter. I looked evil and that was about it. My father’s poisonous blood had altered my physical appearance. Nothing more. I looked like a bad ass, so I acted like one. I looked sinister, so I acted like a cunt. A word I now regretted ever calling another. A word I now loathed to hear in any context.
When the searing pain of the third creep’s dick plunged into my ass, I sunk my human fingernails into the palms of my human hands. I felt the warm rush of pain from the wounds and I decided enough was enough. While this went on each time, I never showed any emotions. I retreated inwardly. I refused to whimper or moan.
Again, I sought out my mental place of freedom. I visualized some of the good family times we had had with Father, when Rayea and I were very young and he had not started his loving tactics with us. I gathered my determination and let my anguish rise up. I willed my silent prayer to be heard by anyone who may be listening. I willed it to float out the open window near the Union Square side of Nathan’s high-rise studio apartment. I imagined it turning into a white dove and flying off into the night sky or maybe landing on a park bench or street lamp near some person strolling through the square. If either Rayea or our father were still alive, surely they would come for me. If ‘forgiveness’ was a word in my sister’s vocabulary, surely she’d help me escape.
As Nathan led me to the shower for another round of fun with him and his friends, I began thinking of an apology to my sister. I formed the word ‘sorry’ on my pale lips. What would I say to her if she walked through that door? What would she think of my returning to human form? What would she do if I told her how horrible I felt about everything I had put her through? What would she say if I asked to be forgiven?
I whispered my prayer again because finally I had nothing else to lose. As T and the other guy pushed my face into the ceramic tile floor, holding me upside down so Nathan could straddle me like a wish bone, I submitted to an unknown fate. My pride and dignity had been broken long ago. I needed a miracle. If Rayea somehow heard my plea, then so be it. If I had to walk away from all the evil I had known with Lucifer and instead embrace goodness, then so be it. Anything was better than this demented suffering my life had become.
When they dropped me and I fell to the ground, I felt my lip split open and saw a smear of my blood on the white ceramic floor. Then I thought of something I had never thought of before. Hope.
“Nathan, my love,” I said as I pulled myself up off the floor. “You really do need to meet my sister.” Free drops of blood rolled down the inside of my thighs after I stood. It would take weeks for the fresh wounds to heal.
“Oh really?” he asked, grabbing me by the arm and starting to shake me.
I knew what I’d get for opening my mouth, but I didn’t care. I wanted to see the look on his face when he realized what could happen to him and his friends.
“You need to meet my whole family,” I added.
T and the other guy started laughing and an angry frown crossed Nathan’s face as he glared at me. “All that shit in that book isn’t real. It’s made up. Bullshit. I don’t need to meet your family to know that, you fucking cunt. They are average Joe’s, just like you and me.” He slapped me across the face. A squirt of my blood flew out from my mouth and hit the bathroom mirror.
T punched me in the stomach. “According to the book, they are all dead anyways. What is she talking about, Nate?”
I doubled over in pain, trying to catch my breath. Finally when they stopped laughing and carrying on, I added one more sentence to the stupid notion they thought I had. “That’s the irony of all this. What Rayea talks about