Zombie Tales: Primrose Court Apt. 502 Read Online Free PDF

meet the characters sometime after their survival
skills have kicked in. On occasion, we see how those characters
encountered their first zombie; sometimes it's in a graveyard,
sometimes in their home, or, more recently, in a secret underground
laboratory.
    My first encounter was nothing like in
the movies. I was sitting on the toilet.
    Don't laugh.
    I am one of those rare few that are so
regular you could set your watch by my bowel movements, no fiber
added.
    It all started on a Wednesday afternoon
in May. My allotted half hour lunch break was over and I was taking
my mid afternoon constitutional.
    After nine years crunching numbers for
the same company, I had conditioned my body. I drank my morning
coffee at my desk in my little cubical, ran numbers and cost
analysis until twelve-thirty, took my lunch until one o’clock, and
then spent fifteen relaxing minutes on the pot.
    Who can blame me for taking my fifteen
minutes on the clock? I'm sure everyone has the same mentality
about their employers; everyone has been force to suffer with fewer
benefits, less pay, and less time off. The recession has put most
companies, from the giants like Wal-Mart to the lowly mom and pop
stores in the same predicament. But even with all its drawbacks
there are benefits to businesses during a recession. One of the
benefits is that for every employee on staff there are two or three
equally qualified individuals out there just waiting for the
opportunity to take the job, often for less money.
    My job was definitely not secure. Even
with all my time working for Comdex Pharmaceuticals, I was just as
expendable as the next guy; maybe more so, I was one of the highest
paid accountants in the company. They could hire one of the young
fresh graduates off the street for nearly half of what they paid
me.
    I work hard, but I see no reason to
waste any part of my lunch break in the john. Other than a pen or
two and maybe a few sheets of copy paper, those fifteen minutes are
my only extra compensation for the wonderful job I did at Comdex.
But I suppose I should quit rambling and just start at the
beginning.
    Lunch had been a frantic race to find
Rebecca, the sandwich girl. She made her rounds in our building
every day, but ultimately she seemed to forget me three times a
week. It wasn’t by accident of course. I don't know what her
problem was. I mean, sure I asked her out once, but when she said
no I didn't push. I don't know why everything got awkward after
that. I'm an adult and she's an adult, just because she didn't want
to be an adult with me doesn't mean I don't still like
sandwiches.
    That day, by the time I caught up to
her on the third floor, all she had left was turkey on rye. I can't
stand rye bread, why would anyone fuck up a perfectly good loaf of
bread like that? I bought it anyway, because I hate spending the
afternoon with an empty stomach more than I hate rye.
    She sold the sandwich to me, but was
very flippant about it, like just because I chased her down to
purchase something for lunch, she had grounds for a sexual
harassment suit.
    As if, I thought. Plenty of other girls
out there refused to date me, why would she think she was so
special.
    I mean, sure Rebecca was attractive and
had eyes that flirted from across the room whether she knew it or
not, but I don't see how selling sandwiches out of a basket puts
you anywhere close to the top of the most eligible single woman
list.
    Anyway, I had to eat my sandwich on the
move. By the time I caught up to her, purchased the sandwich, and
got my change, I had ten minutes left to get back to my
office.
    The elevator ride back up to the fourth
floor was not at all note worthy. I got a few strange looks from
the other passengers because I was woofing down my turkey on rye,
but fuck them. There is no law that says you're supposed to stand
all ridged staring at the numbers above the door waiting for your
floor. I was hungry and I wasted precious time chasing down the
bitch that didn't have time