Zombie Tales: Primrose Court Apt. 305 Read Online Free PDF Page B

disaster movie. The
people portrayed on that show are shining examples of everything I
find wrong with America today.
    It was just another bunch of self
centered shallow kids cashing in on their fifteen minutes of fame.
Not one of them took the time to learn about their
heritage.
    And fuck their heritage
anyway. Mussolini sided with Hitler in World War Two, didn’t he?
How the fuck did Italy get off so easy on that one? As far as I'm
concerned, Italian Americans in the 21 st century are a joke. They
think they can embrace the word 'Guido' like the blacks embraced
the word 'Nigga' and everything is going to be alright. Why
shouldn’t those kids have to go find jobs and work for a living?
America's fixation on the blacks pretty much ended when Bill Cosby
retired, but this new fixation on Italians made me question what
this country is all about. Don't even get me started on the
Kardashians.
    I dropped trou and parked my behind on
the elongated toilet with the horseshoe shaped seat to do my
business. I really don't understand why the commercial toilet
industry thinks that cutting six inches out of the front of the
seat is going to work. Anyone willing to piss on a toilet seat
isn't going to limit themselves to that small space missing from
the front and the few shlubs that would have lifted the seat think
they don't have to because the seat has that gap. So they do their
best to stand directly in front of the gap to do their business. Of
course, more often than not they defile some part of the seat,
whether it’s due to inattention, or a lack of respect for the
future users.
    When was the last time you dribbled a
few drops on a public toilet seat and took the time to clean up
after yourself with a few squares of toilet paper? Not fuckin'
likely. That's why I bring an individually wrapped Lysol wipe with
me every day. Then I lay down the recycled paper seat cover,
recycled from what? I don't even want to know.
    The article I'm stuck reading is a
fluff piece, just more Obama propaganda about how the Democrats
could pull us out of the recession if the Republican Party would
just work with them. I figured at some point the shock of being the
first African American in the White House would wear off and Obama
would get down to business, how wrong I was. He talks a good game,
he wouldn't have been elected otherwise, but I feel like I wasted
my vote. Maybe Hilary was a chump for staying with Bill, but in
hindsight, she probably could have brought more to the Presidency.
With Bill as the First Husband, it would have been like two
Presidents for the price of one.
    The outer door squeaked open and
slammed shut. I listened to the shuffling of feet echo in the way
that only the tiled walls of a public toilet can. I'm not the type
to get nervous about using the public restroom, but I am the type
to sit and try to picture what the other occupants are
doing.
    The new occupant seemed to be an old
man as far as I could tell. He shuffled a few steps then stopped. A
few more steps then stopped. With my luck, the poor sucker was
using a walker or one of those canes with the pronged base. The
kind that should have good sturdy rubber tips that would outlast
the aluminum frame, but seemed to end up with tennis balls instead.
Bastard probably thought he was going to stroll right into the
handicapped stall. Well, the old codger would just have to
wait.
    He shuffled right up to the door of my
stall and I could hear the thump of something on the painted steel
door.
    “There's someone in here,” I said,
pissed that he wouldn't even try the other, smaller stalls. I knew
the doors were wide open. How hard could it be to sink your ass
down on one of those? It should be easier considering that there
were two good handrails on either side well within
reach.
    I stared at his shoes under the door.
They weren't old man shoes. Not that there was a type of shoe that
old men had to wear, but these were DCs. Who the hell wore
skateboard shoes to the office? His