was too great. Jo kept calling for Jen to join her. She did want me to pass a message on to you though. She wanted to thank you."
"For what, I got her killed," I sobbed.
"For giving her a reason to keep living."
I dropped to my knees, the weight of the message driving me to the ground. Brendon appeared in front of me. He bent over, extending a hand to me. "Take hope away from here, Mike." He said as he pulled me up. "That's why you've been allowed to come. If not for yourself, then for your family." He paused. "For your grandson."
"I don't have a grandson." I answered him, the dawn of the realization slow to shine on me.
Brendon smiled as he slowly faded away. "Tell Nicole I love her and Chase is a fine name."
I shook violently awake. BT was softly snoring off to my side. Henry had at some point in the night snuck back into the hospital, and was crowding in on my bed. A small light had been left on in the far corner. Night had fully descended on this place. Shit, I didn't even know where I was. That hadn't happened to me since my college days, and that usually involved copious amounts of alcohol.
"Hi Talbot." For the minutest of seconds I thought Henry had spoken. His head still rested comfortably on my thigh.
"Hi hon." I answered, as my drug addled brain began to put the pieces back together.
"How you feeling?" My wonderful wife asked.
"Like a truck ran me over, then backed up to hit me again, then put ice chains on and then…"
"Enough!" She said exasperated. "I get the picture. There's something I need to tell you."
"Nicole's pregnant." I said.
I could hear the sharp intake of breath as Tracy tried to understand how I got that information. "There's more."
"Brendon's dead."
"How do you know all this? You've been unconscious for over three days."
"Brendon told me."
Tracy just about cried. "How Mike? Brendon died in that damned truck and Nicole herself didn't know she was pregnant until this morning."
I shrugged my shoulders, which in light of my present condition might just have been one of the singularly most stupid things I have ever attempted. Blood ruptured from an opening that by all accounts shouldn't have been there. A distant klaxon sounded, the night darkened around me, blackness tunneled my vision into twin pinpricks.
"Mike!" Tracy screamed.
I heard some panicked voices and then I found myself back in the safe, warm valley. This time I was alone. "Brendon? Jen?" I yelled. It wasn't that I was scared I was alone, it just would have been nice to share the experience. When I had first arrived in the valley the colors had all seemed muted. Everything from the smallest speck of dust now all shone with their own brilliance, so much so that I found myself squinting. The sun, which had seemed no bigger than a marble in the sky earlier, now threatened to overtake my entire field of vision. I found myself once again drawn to the light like a kid to a Toys R Us.
"Mike, not yet." An agitated voice said. "How many times do I have to send you back?"
"God?" Oh shit, I think I've annoyed God, that can't look good on your personal resume.
"It's not yet your time, Mike. Soon but not yet."
"Mom? Is that you? Mom, I'm tired. I don’t know how much longer I can do this."
I was full out sobbing now, my feet shuffling ever forward. As I write these words I find myself ashamed. I had given up. I wanted to crawl onto my mom's lap like I was five and she would tell me the Indians were coming to get me.
Ever forward I moved; the light didn't diminish this time. I was being repelled and accepted at the same time.
"Mike." A voice said forcibly from behind me.
I paid it as little attention as I could, left foot forward, right foot forward. The sweet summer grass I glided across became six-inch thick heavy mud. My feet became mired. Forward progress was slowed to a crawl. Still I pressed. If nothing else, I'm a stubborn son of a bitch.
"Mike!" The behind voice yelled. "A few more steps and it'll be too late."
"Don't