Zombie Elementary Read Online Free PDF

recognized right away as “ BRAAIIINNNSSS !” although a non-zombie-expert might just think it was a shriek of pain). Either way, Joey’s great day on the pitcher’s mound kind of—what’s the word—evapeerated?

KYLE:
Evaporated. Like the milk. I guess.
LARRY:
Yeah, whatever. Evaporated, then.

    Joey ran like heck, so nobody was there to make a real easy catch. Not that I think that part really mattered, because Alex did not drop the bat and run to first like he should have. He stumbled across the diamond, ignoring first base. He was headed straight forJermaine, who threw his cap right in front of Alex, sorta like a bullfighter, you know? Alex swung the bat at Jermaine’s cap and hit it. Or he might not have. Doesn’t matter much—it’s only a cap. Can’t turn a cap into a zombie cap. Either way, Alex dropped the bat, tripped over his own leg and sorta veered off in my direction.
    Dang, he was coming right at me!
    (Whoops, I guess that’s a bad word. Can you edit that part out?)
    Anyhow, Alex had gotten a pretty good bit of speed for a shambling corpse. Or maybe it just seems that way when a ghoul is coming for you. I felt like I was rooted to the ground. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. I was a goner. I was lunch. I was ten seconds from being a zombie—
    And then Jermaine swiped Alex over the head with the bat he had just dropped. Best strike Jermaine Holden ever made.
    Alex hit the ground hard. I hit the ground about half a second later. I was out like a light.

13
    They were gonna take me to the hospital, but John’s mom told the coach and umpire I’d only fainted, and she’s a nurse, so they had to listen. Which was good, I guess, because they did call an ambulance for Alex, and I did not want to share an ambulance with him, even if he’d been knocked cold by my best friend and second baseman.
    ZOMBIE TIP
    It’s okay not to want to share an ambulance with a zombie. Or any sort of enclosed space.
    Anyway, the coaches and the umpire were having a real yelling match. It was hard to know what they were really arguing about, except that Jermaine was in a whole lot of trouble for hitting an opposing player with a bat. Coach Chicka was shouting that Alex had broken the rules by running right across to second instead of going to first; the Pirates’ coach was upset about the whole skull-smacking thing; and the umpire was mad because the game had sorta come unglued. It was only the bottom of the first, after all.
    None of them seemed to have seen that there was anything wrong at the ballpark. I figured the adults couldn’t get their heads around “game abandoned due to zombies on field.”
    I guess about half the players had gone home with their moms and dads, and the rest had just run away. Except for those guys hanging around in the dugout with the crazy staring eyes and the drooling and—
    Holy %*&^!!!! They got the water boy this time!
    Jermaine’s dad pulled up in their Ford Explorer, and we jumped in right away. “Lock the doors and drive, Pop!” Jermaine’s dad’s always in a hurry, so he didn’t argue.
    He did seem surprised when we went to the McDonald’s drive-thru and neither of us wanted anything to eat.
    “You guys must be getting sick or something!”
    Like that was the worst thing in the world.
    The worst thing in the world was happening, and none of the grown-ups were catching on at all.

14
    We didn’t go to Cheesehead Ed’s Pizza that night. I know that surprises you, cause we always went there after games, but Jermaine said something about being “persona non bratwurst” with the coach, and I really wasn’t in the mood, what with the fainting and the zombie trying to bite me in the face. The grown-ups would only have griped the whole time, anyway. We were up by four when the game got called, and nobody likes that.
    So, Jermaine and I were in his room.
    “Thanks for … you know,” I said.
    He grinned at me. “Yeah, best hit of the season for me.”
    I thought about it.