Zarr, Sara - Sweethearts Read Online Free PDF Page A

expecting to find something good. Not me. I sat there imagining all the bad or scary things it could be. It could have been something from my biological father, who I only knew as Don Harris and had not seen since age three. It could have been from someone who had known me as Jennifer Harris -- Matt Bradshaw, maybe -- reminding me who I really was and that I wasn't going to get away with this Jenna Vaughn business for much longer. Stalling, I got out my phone to call Ethan but ended up dialing Steph's number instead. "Hey," I said, sitting on my bed. "I got a car." "Yes! It's about time. When are you picking me up? Where are we going?" "You sound like my mom." "Really, Jenna, it is your birthday," Steph said. "Aren't you at least going to go surprise Ethan or something?" "I have too much homework." Steph kept talking while I thought about the envelope. Maybe it was something for my parents. Maybe it had nothing to do with me. "... reigning Miss Predictability," Steph said, "proudly representing the fine state of Utah." "My inability to be spontaneous is part of my charm." "It's true. You wouldn't be you otherwise." "Katy said ..." I stopped myself, and reached across my bed to close the window curtains. "Katy said what?" "That I didn't seem like myself today." "Katy says a lot of things you needn't pay attention to." She paused. "You were a little out of it, though." I wasn't sure what to say. The fact that I hadn't hidden myself as well as I thought made me nervous. But then, having friends who noticed when I acted out of the ordinary -- that was good, right? "J.V.?" Steph said. "Still there?" "Yeah. Birthdays are stressful for me," I said. "That's all." "Why? You get presents!" "This one time ..." I swallowed, hardly able to believe that I was considering telling. "One sec, potential hookup calling ..." Maybe I'd just say, / had a bad birthday once. I could say that I was at a friend's house, and his dad was mean and yelled at us. That was enough of an explanation, really, and it might help to say even that much. "I'm back," Steph said. "I told him I was in the middle of something and I'd call him later. Which I won't, then he'll call me and I'll pretend I forgot, and --" "Have you ever thought about just... being honest?" I was one to talk She laughed. "Oh, Jenna. How little you understand. Anyway, you were saying?" The moment, if there ever really was one, had gone. "Nothing. Just that birthdays involve a lot of attention and I'm glad it's over." "In Jenna's world, Attention Bad. I forgot." Her call-waiting clicked in again. "Ooh, I want to take this one. Go do your homework. See you tomorrow." "See you." I went out of my room, through the dark kitchen, and stood quietly where I could see into the living room. Mom and Alan were watching a nature show. They were on the couch, Mom's feet in Alan's lap, his hand absentmindedly petting her toes. I had an impulse to join them, to wedge myself in there and feel Alan on one side of me and Mom on the other and the TV in front of us and the solid wall of the house behind us. I'd like to fall asleep like that, hemmed in, and wake up and have a better day in front of me. Then Mom sat up and kissed Alan and I felt like a spy, and also a little grossed out, so I went back through the kitchen, through the front room, and, finally, out the door and into the cold dark. Our porch light had been out for weeks, giving the yard and the walkway an eerie sort of feeling, like anyone could be out there, watching. I pulled the envelope out of the mailbox quickly, stuck it in the pocket of my jeans, and went back to my room. Jennifer Harris. Is what it said on the envelope. Not Jenna Vaughn or J.V., like my friends sometimes called me. Jennifer Harris, a person I had not been for more than four years. How could whoever it was have found me with my new name? It's not like I'd sent a change of address to Jordana Bennett and Matt Bradshaw. The printing was neat, precise, the envelope a little lumpy