One day we would beat this because we were strong.
“I’m gonna get ready for school. I’ll see you next time you decide to drunkenly stumble into the house.” Savannah stuck her tongue out at Nathan before walking down the hall and into her room.
“Love you, brat,” he called out after her.
“Love you, too!”
“That kid’s an angel.” Nathan turned back to me.
“I wonder who she gets it from,” I said, taking a gulp of my coffee. It’d gone tepid because I’d let it sit for too long when I’d become absorbed by Nathan and Savannah’s banter. They always teased each other like that but it never got old. They were so alike, and I was the odd one out.
Having fun wasn’t something I had time to do. It wasn’t something I allowed myself to do. Not when life was so difficult and serious. I preferred to stick firmly to reality instead of having short-lived moments of happiness. In my world, there was no point in being happy.
“Hmmph,” Nathan snorted, then lowered his voice. “So, uh, he’s not up yet?”
I shook my head, knowing very well that he was referring to Dad.
Nathan slumped back in his chair, his hands balling up into fists as he released the cup of coffee. “Guess he won’t be going to work then. That’s so typical of him. Why the hell should he care if you and Anna get fed or not, as long as he has a bottle of rum to himself at the end of the day?”
My throat felt dry when I swallowed. I knew Nathan wasn’t intentionally trying to make me feel bad, but the reality of the situation always killed a tiny part of me.
Day by day, the situation eroded away at me. The situation eroded me . Eventually, I would become a soulless, mindless shell of a person, only existing until this life was over. Some days, I wished this life was over.
When I didn’t say anything, Nathan heaved a sigh and scraped his chair against the tiled floor, moving closer to me.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and bent his head close to mine. “I’m sorry, Estee, I didn’t mean to talk about it. I just-I just worry so much about you guys. I can’t wait until I graduate, until I get a good job, until I can take you and Anna away from all this crap.”
“I know,” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes.
Nathan was in his third year of college, and the future he talked about was still a couple of years away. Until then, I would have to take care of Savannah as best as I could.
“Do you want me to move back home?”
I turned to face Nathan, surprised by his words. My mouth tightened and I pulled away from him. “Don’t you dare come back home, Nate. You need to focus all your energy into doing the best that you can at college and that’s not going to happen while you’re still living here. Do you understand?”
Nathan nodded and I could see relief flicker momentarily in his eyes. I knew my brother would’ve come back home if I’d asked him too, but he was also glad that he didn’t have to. I couldn’t blame him for feeling like that. This place was a hell where you had to fight to survive.
“Oh, before I forget, I grabbed this from the notice board on campus and thought you might be interested.” Nathan pulled something out of his back pocket. “They’re looking for a tutor for a ten-year-old and they’re paying a lot of money.”
Nathan handed me a flyer and I studied it, chewing on my lower lip as I read the details.
‘A lot of money’ was an understatement. They were paying a hundred dollars an hour. That was more than any tuition fee I’d ever heard of and they had requested the tutor every Tuesday and Friday. That was two hundred dollars a week!
The only problem was it clashed with my Friday at the community center. I guess I could drop one day of volunteering if I got this job. The idea of earning that much money was definitely tempting albeit a little strange.
I wasn’t a greedy person, but we needed that money. We needed that money to pay bills and to buy groceries. I was in
Heidi Belleau, Rachel Haimowitz