Within My Heart Read Online Free PDF

and swiftly settled on one, his decision made easier, painfully so, by the telling whoosh coming through the stethoscope. His responsibility as physician to the people of this town—and to this good man lying on the floor before him—bore down hard.
    For two years he’d lived and worked in Timber Ridge, yet he had failed to build what he would term a “respectable practice.” Oh, he’d treated scores of people since arriving, had delivered babies. And with the construction of the new resort and with mining operations close by, there was no end to suturing gashes, binding wounds, and setting bones. Thanks to Sheriff McPherson’s assistance, he’d even managed to gain the town council’s support to conduct fitness examinations on the schoolchildren last fall. But he still felt as if people didn’t completely trust him as a doctor, that they didn’t see the importance of being under a doctor’s care.
    They’d accepted him into their town, made him feel welcome enough. But for the most part, they only called on him when they were either bleeding to death or knocking on death’s door. Like now. There was so much he wanted to teach these fine people about living a healthier life. So much illness that could be prevented if folks would only listen to—
    Rand went absolutely still inside, realizing that the weakened heartbeat thudding faintly in his ears only a second ago had done the same.
    His own heart fisted tight.
    He repositioned the stethoscope, searching for a pulse, straining to hear something. Anything. A hundred possibilities flew through his mind as he pressed his fingers against the underside of Ben’s jaw.
    No, God . . . Please don’t do this to me. Not again . . .
    Knowing what he had to do, yet never having done it himself, Rand felt his insides knot up. Hands trembling, he made a fist and positioned it directly over Ben Mullins’s heart, remembering the first time he’d seen a colleague perform this procedure. Barbaric was the word that had come to mind then.
    He raised his arm.
    Lyda gasped. “What are you do—”
    Rand brought his fist down directly over Ben’s heart.
    “No! Dr. Brookston, don’t!” Lyda cried.
    She tried to block his efforts, but Rand caught hold of her wrists. “Mrs. Mullins, your husband’s heart has stopped. If I don’t do something, he’s going to die!” Saying the words made it even more real, and fear threatened to paralyze his confidence as deeply buried memories clawed their way to the surface.
    Suddenly all he could see was Marietta’s face.
    Her lithe form on the table before him, her crying in soft guttural moans, reaching out to him with one hand while cradling her swollen belly with the other. Remorse stung his eyes as he pictured his sister’s sweet face, and that of her child.
    He let go of Lyda Mullins, his choices clear. He had no idea whether what he was attempting would save Ben Mullins’s life or not. The procedure certainly wasn’t without risk, nor was it without its naysayers. But doing nothing would seal Ben’s fate without question. Sometimes taking a risk was the best choice.
    And sometimes it was the only choice.
    “Mrs. Mullins, I can restart your husband’s heart. I know I can. But you’re going to have to let me do this. You’re going to have to trust me.”
    Her face drained of color. “All right,” she whispered, voice thin as a reed.
    Rand checked again for a heartbeat. Finding none, he rose up on his knees beside Ben. He fit his hands one atop the other over the sternum, straining to recall exactly how he’d seen this demonstrated two years earlier.
    Using his own weight for leverage, he pressed down, then let up, pressed down, and let up, silently counting as he did, aware of Lyda’s body flinching each time he started a compression.
    Stethoscope positioned again, he listened. Still nothing. Perhaps the naysayers were right. . . .
    As quickly as the thought came, he banished it, but another nipped its heels. What if he was