him on the lips.
It took me maybe two seconds to realize what I had done.
Shit! Oh, shit!
Talk about sending wrong signals. His face broke into an expression of pure delight. But Debbie—who sat to his right—cast me a look so dirty I felt like our friendship wouldn’t survive the blow. Plus Ted grabbed me after the kiss, probably hoping our brief oral contact was the beginning of something extraordinary.
“Have I ever told you how wonderful you are?” he said with feeling.
“Maybe once or twice,” I muttered, trying to extricate myself from his arms without being too obvious.
Alex was as drunk as I was. She studied her empty wine glass and waxed philosophical. “Why is it we always say such emotional crap at times like this? The truth is the feelings you two share are as obvious as a one-way street.”
“Huh?” Ted said, blinking. He’d had some of our wine.
“Don’t be so cold,” I said quickly, diplomatically, still trying to slip from his bear hug. “Ted is a dear old friend.”
“Friends,” Alex said, practically spitting the word. “What good are friends? You can’t f—”
“Why did you just kiss me?” Ted interrupted, his joy slowly fading.
“Because I care,” I said.
“And she’s drunk,” Alex added.
“Is that true?” Ted asked, his expression darkening.
“Well,” I said.
“Ignore her,” Debbie said, reaching over and taking one of his hands, which gave me one less hand to escape from. “When Jessie gets drunk, she always acts like a whore. We were at this party once where she downed a six-pack and got up and started dancing on the tabletop. She stripped down to her panties.”
Ted released me all of a sudden. He practically shoved me away. He looked upset, confused. “What’s going on here?” he mumbled.
“Knock it off, Debbie, would ya? You know damn well that was me,” Alex said. “And the panties didn’t stay on.”
“I really am grateful for all you’ve done for us,” I told Ted.
“For us?” he snapped, beginning to sober up.
I searched inside for the perfect remark that would completely repair the damage I had caused. The only problem was I was working with an IQ of around fifty.
“For all of us,” I told Ted. “For me, for Alex, and especially for Debbie. You may not know this but Debbie has a major crush on you. She’s had it for years but she’s too much of a coward to tell you. So I’m telling you now.”
My words didn’t go over as well as I hoped. Debbie threw down her napkin and got up and ran from the restaurant. Ted watched her go, then turned to me, probably hoping I would clarify my remark. The best I could do was belch, which sent Alex into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Ted had finally hadenough. He shook his head and stood and handed me two tickets.
“I got you great seats,” he said in a bitter voice. “Enjoy the show.”
He left, chasing after Debbie, or so we assumed. The rest of our long table fell silent and stared at me, making me feel like a total ass. But Alex was quick to reassure me.
“Although your drunken stupor is obvious to all,” she told me, “your words were positively brilliant. Your remarks may even change the course of those two mediocre lives.”
“Don’t call them mediocre,” I said.
“Their lives will be if they get married two years from now. All because of what you said here tonight.”
I sighed, and studied the tickets in my hand. “I just hope we’re not sitting beside them during the show.”
“When does it start?” Alex asked.
My eyes slowly focused on the tiny print on the tickets.
I gasped. “In ten minutes!”
We paid our share of the bill, in theory, although we probably cheated our classmates since we were the only ones who had ordered wine. But we didn’t have time to hang around and haggle over an exact figure.
We were lucky O took place in the Bellagio. A hotel employee was kind enough to lead us to the appropriate hall. He could tell we were stinking drunk.