Wistril Compleat Read Online Free PDF Page A

White Chair wizard. White
Chairs got to just sit back and watch." Yellow teeth shone suddenly
through tangled beard. "Tell you what, White Chair. I'll bring you
the heads, when I'm done. Got no use for the heads. Heads, guts,
and wizards. No use at all."
    The Grizzly wrenched his torch from the
ground, laughed, and led his men away.
    Sir Knobby looked sideways at Kern. "Hoot?"
he said.
    "Hoot," said Kern. Sir Knobby spread his
wings, leaped, and was gone.
    Wistril turned. "Not a word, Apprentice," he
said. "Not a word."
    "I don't have one," said Kern.
    "Indeed. A rare and happy occurrence."
Wistril mumbled a word and his staff ceased to glow. "While you are
thus dumbstruck, pray use the mirror to return to Kauph. Gather
blankets. Have the staff prepare my tent. I shall also require
Jot's Bestiary, the complete Encyclopedia Fantastica, and my
spyglass."
    "Yes, Master. Anything else?"
    Wistril closed his eyes and sighed. "Yes," he
said. "The staff. Bring them as well."
    "The staff?" Kern frowned. "The entire staff?
Gargoyles, phantoms, Cook, and all?"
    "That is what I said," snapped Wistril. "Set
the wards on the castle and bring the staff. All. Here."
    Wide-eyed, Kern nodded. "Yes sir."
    "And bring me a sword."
    Kern shrugged. "You don't have a sword."
    "Then find me a sword!" roared the fat
wizard. "Wrench the ore from the earth and smelt it yourself if you
must but fetch me a sword!"
    "Yes sir."
    "Go!"
    Kern saluted, turned, and raced for the
mirror. He took a single look back before charging through the
glass.
    Wistril stood by the water's edge. The trio
of small serpentia poked their heads above the water and made small
chirping noises at the fat wizard.
    Kern shook his head, stepped into the mirror,
and stepped out in the south tower basement. A pair of
sleepy-looking gargoyles holding rusty maces leaped to attention
when Kern's boots scuffed the stones.
    "Scrape the rust off those pig-stickers,
gentlemen," said Kern. "And round up the rest of the crew. We're
going off to war. The honor of Kauph has been bedraggled and
besmirched."
    "Hoot?"
    "I mean it," said Kern. "The Master has been
threatened. He's in danger even as we speak. We are all to gear up
and fall out via this mirror. I'm going to round up the spooks and
set the wards. I want everyone else out by dinner time. Is that
clear?"
    Two trumpet-blast hoots sounded.
    "Good," said Kern. "Get started." Kern headed
for the tower door, the gargoyles at his heels.
    First, the study, Kern thought, for the
books. Then to the store-room, and then -- a sword.
    Not a rusted, bent cast-off such as the ones
crossed over the mantel of the study fireplace. And certainly not
that relic of a blade gripped by the suit of armor decorating the
landing of the Great Hall stairs; the blade falls off the hilt
every time it's dusted.
    Kern ticked off all the contents of Castle
Kauph as he walked, room by room, chamber by chamber -- there were
swords enough, but not a one suited for actual swordplay.
    Wistril's bellowed orders rang out in Kern's
mind. "Bring me a sword!" shouted the wizard. "Forge it yourself if
you must, but fetch me a sword!"
    Kern snapped his fingers. "Master," he said,
"I might do just that."
     
     
    Wistril marched ponderously up and down the
ranks of gargoyles lined up along the Lake's grassy shore.
Occasionally the wizard would stop and inspect a freshly-sharpened
pitchfork or test the edge of a well-worn axe.
    "Excellent," he said, now and then. "You do
our house honor."
    More gargoyles joined the ranks via the
mirror with each moment. The biggest fellows squeezed through the
mirror frame with some difficulty; a few landed sprawling on the
grass, obviously pushed hard from behind after becoming stuck in
the glass.
    Wistril's army grew. Kitchen implements and
hastily made staves joined the field as weapons. Sir Knobby and a
dozen of the oldest, largest, and most ferocious-looking gargoyles
wielded the entirety of Castle Kauph's ornamental weaponry.
    Kern popped