Wisdom's Kiss Read Online Free PDF Page A

ridiculous finery—I even explained to Jack Sprat that if she hadn't insisted on packing half the castle wardrobe she'd probably be able to ride—which she did not appreciate at all!
     
    I was about to tell Mrs. Sprat that her walking was more helpful than Sprat & I put together as she weighs more than Sprat & I put together but it was clear the jest would fall short—instead I simply joined the horses & the coachman who is far better company than they & who is teaching me to spit—we make sure Nonna Ben & the Sprats are far to the rear before we practice! In return I am teaching him cartwheels altho he's too old to start—I think he asks simply because he enjoys watching me show him—it's great fun to demonstrate—he's amazed my skirts never once fall up—or would it be fall down if I'm upside down? But I'm so v. quick I remain a proper lady throughout—not that I'd ever let the Sprats appraise my behavior!
     
    We are traveling now through mountains almost as high as Montagne's—we have to walk—& practice spitting!—almost all the day! I believe we're a week late at least—I've given up listening to the secretary's assessments as his every calculation forecasts calamity—but I don't care one dried-up old raisin! I've the rest of my life to be a wife—how many other opportunities will I have to experience such a delightfully wayward journey?
Queen of All the Heavens
A P LAY IN T HREE A CTS
PENNED BY ANONYMOUS

    Act I, Scene v.
Interior, Frizzante Tavern.
     
    Morning. A great spread of food.
    TAVERN KEEPER : It is the dream of my life to serve a queen—particularly one so receptive to the culinary arts! This meal shall be remembered forever...
     
    Enter Benevolence carrying Escoffier, and Wisdom,

Lady Modesty, Lady Patience, and others.
    BENEVOLENCE : Good morn to you, my fine man. What glories have you prepared us? I vowed after last night's feast I should never eat again, yet my sable companion and I find ourselves ravenous once more.
    TAVERN KEEPER : My chefs toiled through the night ... I have for you fine omelets, sweet pastries, and my personal masterpiece: oysters.
    PATIENCE : Oysters! What a tremendous delicacy! O, they taste divine!
    MODESTY : The crust so delicate—the interior so creamy ... I believe I shall have four if it does not appear too greedy.
    WISDOM
[aside]:
That is a spectacle well worth forgetting ... This roll is still warm. I am quite content with it alone for the moment.
    TAVERN KEEPER : Your Majesty, you do not dine? Are the oysters not quite to your satisfaction?
    BENEVOLENCE : My friend turns up his nose—this cat knows more of cookery than most men.
    TAVERN KEEPER : These oysters arrived only this morning, packed in ice ... I could not resist their purchase, however dear, as I knew my guests deserved the best.
    BENEVOLENCE : Of course you shall be justly compensated. But when traversing mountains, I prefer mountain fare. I recall a leg of lamb that left last night's table only half-consumed ... Wisdom! You cannot depart so soon! You have barely swallowed two mouthfuls!
    WISDOM : There is a man outside juggling! That entertainment is all the nourishment I require.
     
    Exit Wisdom.
    BENEVOLENCE : His Grace will find it quite the chore to tame his feral bride ... Come, Escoffier, let us break our fast. Truly this meal will never be forgotten.
The Imperial Encyclopedia of Lax
8 TH EDITION
Printed in the Capital City of Rigorus

by Hazelnut & Filbert, Publishers to the Crown
    ESCOFFIER OF MONTAGNE
     
    The history of the Empire of Lax would not be complete without the chronicles of its most revered pets: the elkhound Steadfast, whose life was immortalized in the ten-hour opera
Paws of Honor
(performed only once); the poodle Brownie, who in mistaking approaching soldiers for tree squirrels alerted Castle Underjoy to the imminent attack; the Pekingese Darling, who inspired the foundation of the Darling College for Women in Gebühr. None of these canines, however, matches the cat