William The Conqueror Read Online Free PDF Page A

General Moult, his face purple with fury, his eyes bulging. A group of village youths at the back of the hall, reluctantly dragged in to listen to the lecture on
Egyptology, began to cheer. William bowed, gratified.

    IN THE SECOND ROW SAT MRS BROWN HER EYES, FULL OF HELPLESS HORROR, WERE FIXED UPON HER SON.
    ‘Ladies an gen’l’men,’ he continued, ‘our second waxwork is—’
    ‘Crumbs!’ whispered Ginger, looking at the open door behind the stage. ‘The Vicar’s coming with a man . . . he’s goin’ to come right up on to the stage.
He’s goin’ to spoil it all.’
    ‘No, he’s not,’ said William firmly. ‘It’s our show an’—’
    Certainly the Vicar and the other man were coming up on to the stage. William, with admirable presence of mind, threw himself into the breach.
    ‘Ladies an’ gen’l’men, our nex’ waxwork is Mr Monks comin’ up on to the stage. Kin’ly notice Mr Monks walking up on to the stage.’
    The hall was full of excited murmurs. The figure of the Vicar was seen to appear on the stage, as though in obedience to William’s stage directions, and speak to William.
    The murmurs in the hall were too loud to admit of anyone’s hearing what the Vicar was saying to William. Everyone was talking excitedly. General Moult had found his voice, and was
shouting: ‘Impudence! Damned impudence! I’ll tell his father. Confound his impudence! I say, confound—’
    Mrs Brown was past all power of interference. She merely watched William with a helpless, fascinated look. Above the babel rose William’s strident voice.
    ‘Waxwork number three , ladies an’ gen’l’men. Mr Monks talkin’. Mr Monks talkin’ to me. Kin’ly notice Mr Monks talkin’ to me, ladies an’ gen’l’men – nat’ral an ’ lifelike.’
    The youths at the back of the stage applauded frenziedly. William bowed. The Vicar began to lose his self-control. He hit the palm of his left hand with his right clenched fist as he
expostulated. William imitated the gesture.
    ‘Waxwork number four, ladies an ’ gen’l’men,’ he shouted. ‘Mr Monks doin’ this. Kin’ly notice Mr Monks doin’ this – lifelike an ’ nat’ral.’
    Mr Monks caught hold of William’s collar.
    ‘Waxwork number five ,’ shouted William hoarsely. ‘Mr Monks an’ me goin’ to have a fight.’
    The audience had decided how to take the situation. It rocked with laughter. The youths at the back clapped and stamped. The Vicar, who was deeply attached to his sense of dignity, retired
hastily.
    ‘Now,’ said William, who was slightly put out by the contretemps, ‘we have King Charles discoverin’ America. I mean the other way round. Ladies an’
gen’l’men, if you’ll kin’ly notice—’
    The Vicar and Professor Smith were interrupting him again. William turned upon them sternly, no longer trying to save the situation.
    ‘We’d all be glad,’ he said indignantly, ‘’f you’d kin’ly stop keep comin’ up here ’n int’ruptin’. This is a birthday
party an’ all these people’ve come special to see the waxworks an’ you keep comin’ spoilin ’ things. ’F you want to watch we’d be glad ’f
you’d go down to where the others is watchin’ ’stead of comin’ up here int’ruptin’—’
    The Vicar was speechless with fury. Professor Smith was staring at William’s strange attire with bewildered horror.
    ‘But I’ve come here—’ he began.
    ‘You’ve come here to a birthday party,’ said William sternly, ‘if you’ve been invited, an’ if you’ve not been invited we’d be kin’ly
glad ’f you’d kin’ly go home ’stead of stayin’ here int’ruptin’. Ladies an’ gen’l’men, will you kin’ly
notice—’
    Mrs Brown had decided to relieve the tension by having hysterics, and the spell that bound the members of the committee of the New Era Society was broken suddenly. They surged upon the platform
and surrounded William explaining, expostulating, scolding . . .
    ‘But she