Wigs on the Green Read Online Free PDF

this Noel was naturally obliged to produce fourpence for Jasper. Eugenia then persuaded him to pay for both their Union Jack shirts and little emblems as well. He thought that Fate, as usual, was being wonderful to Jasper, who was quite obviously top boy in Eugenia’s estimation, and who now capped all by suggesting thatthey should repair to the village shop in search of twopenny bars. While Noel paid for the bars he realized that the credit for them was going to Jasper. He decided that he must return this old-man-of-the-sea to London as soon as might be.
    ‘I’ve never seen you before, do you live near here?’ Eugenia asked Noel, as they all emerged, munching twopenny bars, from the village shop.
    ‘No, we don’t, we are just staying at the Jolly Roger for a few weeks, or at least that is to say
I
am staying for a few weeks. My friend, Mr Aspect here, has to leave tomorrow, quite early. It is very unfortunate.’
    ‘Don’t you believe it,’ said Jasper shortly, ‘not now I’ve met you, I’m not leaving. No such thing.’
    ‘Oh! good,’ said Eugenia, ‘it would really be too sad if you had to go, just when you’ve joined the Movement and everything. You’re the type of young men I need in this village, keen, active, energetic.’
    ‘That’s me,’ said Jasper.
    ‘Besides, you won’t be busy doing other things all day. I have some wonderful members in my detachment, but, of course, they are all working boys, except my two Union Jackshirt defenders you saw just now dealing with that old female Pacifist. I thought they did it very bravely; she would have razored them up for twopence, no tricks are too filthy for that gang, it seems. Yes, what we need here is educated people of leisure like yourselves, for canvassing and platform work. That’s why I’m so particularly glad you’re staying on.’
    ‘I suppose you are Eugenia Malmains?’ said Jasper. ‘I used to see you riding about the village here years ago when you were under the age of – quite a kid you know. You lived alone with your grandparents then.’
    ‘I still do, worse luck.’
    ‘Always down here? Don’t you ever go to London?’
    ‘No, you see, T.P.O.F. (that’s what I always call my grandmother, it stands for The Poor Old Female) says that nobody would speakto us in London if we did go. T.P.O.M. (The Poor Old Male, that’s my grandfather) used to go up to the House of Lords, before he had his stroke. As he was stone deaf it didn’t matter so much whether people spoke to him or not. It wouldn’t matter to me a bit, either, because I know the comrades at the Union Jack House would speak to me. T.P.O.F. has got a bee in her bonnet about it.’
    ‘Do you want to go?’
    ‘Of course I want to. I should see the Captain if I did, besides, I could march with the Union Jack Battalions.’
    ‘Who is the Captain?’
    ‘Captain Jack, founder of the Social Unionist Movement and Captain of the Union Jackshirts,’ said Eugenia, throwing up her hand in a salute.
    ‘Why don’t you marry and get away from here?’
    ‘Thank you, I am wedded to the Movement though. Oh! bother, here comes Nanny again, I must go.’ She put her hands to her mouth and called, on two peculiar notes, ‘Vivian Jack-son.’ A small black horse without saddle or bridle came trotting up to her, accompanied by an enormous mastiff. ‘This is Vivian Jackson, my horse,’ she explained. ‘My dog is called the Reichshund, after Bismarck’s dog you know. Goodbye.’ She swung herself on to the horse’s back, gave it a resounding smack on one side of its neck, and galloped away in the direction of Chalford Park.
    ‘Thank God for our English eccentrics,’ said Jasper. ‘Come on, old boy, they must be open by now.’

3
    ‘What’s the news?’ asked Noel. He came into the garden of the Jolly Roger feeling hot and grumpy after a long walk. Noel, when in the country, always took large doses of fresh air and exercise. He believed in looking after his health. Jasper, who