Wide Awake Read Online Free PDF Page A

mean?"
"I started seeing someone else," he confessed, but continued quickly. Too quickly. "But I'm here now. I broke up with her as soon as I heard the news. On the TV, I might add, not from your parents, who should have called me. It's over now. We can pick up right where we left off," he said sweetly.
    He acted like he was handing me a pretty little package instead of a heaping mess of sloppy seconds. I spoke soft and slow. "Look, like I said, I don't even remember you. I'm taking things slow, OK?"
"I understand, babykins."
    I grimaced. "Babykins?" I muttered.
    "That's your nickname, babe. I always called you that, especially when you..." The smile he tacked onto the little nickname had me wishing I'd never asked.
    I threw up in my mouth a little bit and decided to switch gears. "Right now, I just want to focus on getting better. I can't worry about trying to remember everyone."
    I thought he'd be deflated, but instead he grinned in challenge. "Oh, you'll remember me."
    My dad leaned forward to…what? I didn't know, but Mason stopped him with a strong hand to his chest and nodded his head toward the door.
    "I think visiting hours are just about done. Why don't you go on home and give them a few minutes." It wasn't a request.
    "Listen, pal-"
    "Mason will do. Or therapist if you need to get fancy."
    I wanted to laugh, but didn't.
    "Whatever, glorified orderly. I can see myself out, thanks."
    "You do that," Mason said carefully, but hard and demanding.
    Andrew looked back at me. "I'll be back tomorrow, babe, OK?" He smiled and bit the side of his lip as he leaned in to touch my chin. "I really missed you."
    I didn't know what to say. His touch was warm and he looked so happy to see me. I hated to make him feel badly like I had been doing to my parents, so I just smiled a little. "OK."
    "OK. Awesome," he whispered and grinned. He walked backward and pointed. "Tomorrow."
I nodded and when he shut the door, I immediately turned to the woman who was supposed to be my mother. "Was that really my boyfriend?"
Her eyebrows lifted. "He was," she answered, "though we...never really liked him." She smiled wryly. "You have been a cheerleader since you were seven years old, and Andy has been right there with you in football. You've been together since…" she waved her hand in the air, "I can't even remember how far back. He's just not the most honest guy. He's not the guy I would have picked for my daughter, but we tried to give you space and let you choose and make your own decisions."
    I had a thought. "Am I… Was I shallow?"
    "Shallow?" Rhett asked. "No, honey. You were just…preoccupied, as are all teenagers."
"If that guy has been my boyfriend for as long as you say…and I let him call me babykins…" Rhett and Isabella laughed, but Mason and I didn't. To me, it was anything but funny. "I just feel like… I don't know," I sighed in frustration. I did know one thing though. "Can I have a tutor?"
They both blinked. "Well…"
    "I don't want to keep falling further behind," I explained. "If I'm going to be stuck here for a while, at least I can be productive while I'm doing it."
    Rhett swallowed and stuck his hands into his grey suit jacket pockets. "You want to do school? You've always done anything and everything to get out of it. Puppy-dog eyes, lying about being sick, begging…literal begging."
I wanted to sigh. The discrepancies kept piling up against me. "I'd like to still graduate this year if we can find a way to make that happen," I amended. "I know it's a long shot, but I'd really rather not have to add another year of school on if it can be avoided."
Isabella nodded, but looked at me in disbelief.
    Everyone said their goodbyes and I lay there looking at those dragonflies as they glowed softly in the dark. My chest ached with all the pressure that I felt. My life piled onto me and my breaths were almost nonexistent. I needed to find the balance. I had to.

    "It's all about the balance, Emma," Adeline was saying. I