Whispers Through a Megaphone Read Online Free PDF

For an intelligent woman, Sadie was being shockingly stupid. Didn’t she realize the impact this would have? How unprofessional he would look? How he couldn’t possibly work with clients who knew the intimate details of his private life?
    Then he woke up. He woke from the sluggishness, the naivety. He opened his eyes and saw moments with clients who had seemed so perceptive, so smart—clients who guessed that he was probably married, probably had children, probably hadno idea how it felt to be divorced. How dare they slip probably into their sentences when they knew for certain? He had never noticed his wife, perched in his consulting room, tweeting in the background of every fifty-minute hour.
    Well blow me, he thought. Then his mind was full of Abba, knowing me and knowing you, and he closed his eyes and listened, really listened.
    “Sadie hates that jumper,” said Jilly. “But she’s probably just jealous of your mother. Do you ever worry that Sadie’s having an affair with her friend Kristin? I’m a little suspicious, to be honest.”
    “Jilly, you’re always suspicious. That’s why you came to therapy in the first place.”
    “Just because I’m always suspicious doesn’t mean there isn’t something shifty going on.”
    They sat in silence for a while, looking at the floor, looking at each other.
    “Are you aware that sometimes you slip into a vacant state?” she said. “It’s all right, though, I don’t mind. It’s your kindness that soothes me, not your interpretations.”
    “Are you trying to change the subject?” he said.
    “Probably,” she said.
    She was right about the vacant states. They had been happening for a long time. How else would he have survived all those childhood parties? Not to mention all the singing and dancing and embracing life .
    “Embrace it, Ralph,” his mother said, while dancing and sipping a sherry. “You can’t just read the Beano , life’s too short, get up off that beanbag and dance.”
     
    Ralph looked at the clock. He had spent the entire morning staring out of the window and doodling. By now, Sadie wouldbe fuming. The kitchen would be full of bumper-size packets of party food and bottles of champagne. She was probably balancing on a chair in the garden, hanging the old paper lanterns that she always dragged out for summer parties. He hadn’t told her about his session with Jilly Perkins. He was carrying his anger around as though it was something delicate, something precious, something he had only just found after years of looking.
    Sadie Swoon @SadieLPeterson
Just getting into bubble bath. Molton Brown pink
pepperpod. Heaven! How are you spending your Saturday?
    Marcus Andrews @MAthebakerboy
@SadieLPeterson Now I can’t concentrate!
    Kristin Hart @craftyKH
@SadieLPeterson Getting ready for your party tonight.
Magic knickers!
    Jilly Perkins @JillyBPerks
@SadieLPeterson On Daymer Bay beach with Trevor, listening to All About Eve on iPod. Blast from past!
    Chris Preston @ChrisAtMacks
Tomorrow 7pm: Ben Paige reading new poems at Mack’s.
Pls RT
Retweeted by Sadie Swoon
    Lucinda Demick @LuciBDemick
Just me and a Borgen box set. Worth waiting for!
Retweeted by Sadie Swoon
    Beverley Smart @bearwith72
@SadieLPeterson Just seen elderly lady fall over and smash her glasses. Why am I crying when I don’t even know her?
    Before leaving his consulting room, Ralph looked down at the doodles scattered on his desk. Some lyrics to ‘Alexandra Leaving’ by Leonard Cohen. A rough sketch of Julie Parsley holding a microphone. The words happy birthday to me .

5
THE MADNESS THAT LOOKS LIKE SANITY
    S ix months into his affair with Frances Delaney, the headmaster knocked on Miriam’s bedroom door and walked straight in. He was holding a Walkman and a pair of headphones. She was sitting on her bed, reading a letter from her grandmother. “This is for you,” he said. He pulled something out of his pocket. “I also brought you this.” It was a cassette. Cliff Richard.