While We're Far Apart Read Online Free PDF Page A

saltine crackers. The place was crowded, always crowded, and he had to wait a long time just to buy the two items. Afterward, he dropped his letter in the mailbox on the corner, then turned toward home.
    He should have taken the long way home, walking all the way around the block to the alley and going in through his back door. He should not have risked walking past the shul again in case the men were just leaving after prayer. But Jacob was not thinking straight. The news that his tenant was going into the army tomorrow had distracted him. Had Shaffer said tomorrow?
    Prayers must have ended early – or else Jacob’s watch had stopped – because here came all the men, pouring out of the back door of the shul. Jacob whirled around and headed in the opposite direction as fast as he could go, but it was too late. Rebbe Grunfeld spotted him and hurried up the street behind him, calling his name.
    “Yaacov! Yaacov, wait!”
    He had no choice. He had to stop. This would be a conversation that he did not want to have. “Good evening, Rebbe.” Jacob would not wish him Shabbat shalom.
    “Shabbat shalom, Yaacov. We have missed you at prayers these many months. You’re coming back soon, yes?”
    “No.”
    The rebbe stared at him as if he had uttered blasphemy.
    Jacob lost his temper. “Why should I pray? Heh? You tell me why.”
    “We could simply talk. I would listen . . . perhaps Hashem – ”
    “I have nothing to say to you or to Hashem. And certainly nothing to thank Him for.”
    “You don’t mean that, Yaacov.”
    “Yes, I do mean it. I was doing Hashem’s work that day, making plans to dedicate His new Torah scroll. That was why I was late. And if I had been on time that day, I would have been the one to shop at the grocer’s, not my Miriam. Not that young mother from upstairs with two children to raise. She wouldn’t have offered to walk with Miriam if I had been home.”
    “I know, I know. It was a terrible tragedy, but – ”
    “How could Hashem, who knows everything there is to know, not have known that if I was late, my Miriam Shoshanna would die? Heh?” Jacob was shouting, but he didn’t care. “Hashem should have known that Miriam, of all people, would want to finish her shopping before sundown on Erev Shabbat . That she would never break a single one of His commandments.”
    “I don’t know what to say, Yaacov, but if you would only come back to us, maybe we could find the answers together.”
    “Why? What is the use? Hashem has not answered any of my prayers. Nor has He helped me find my son, Avraham. I ask Him questions all the time, and all I ever hear is silence. A silence so loud it is deafening.”
    “There is no need to shout, Yaacov.”
    “I will shout if I want to!” He saw people staring at him, even from across the street. The rebbe’s cheeks flushed pink beneath his white beard. “Tell me, Rebbe – why would Hashem tell my Avraham to go study in His yeshiva if He knew this madman Hitler was coming? Heh? Didn’t He see Adolf Hitler? Were the madman and his plans hidden from Hashem’s sight?”
    “I don’t know, my friend. I don’t know . . . But we miss you. The shul isn’t the same without you. You did such a wonderful job when you were our gabbai , organizing everything for us. Now we are falling apart without you.”
    “I do not care what happens to the shul! The building can crumble into dust for all I care!” Jacob paused to catch his breath and saw the rebbe glance at the paper bag with the soup and crackers. “Yes, Rebbe Grunfeld, I am carrying a burden on Shabbat. Did everyone hear me? Jacob Aaron Mendel went shopping on Shabbat! Look!” He held the package up high for everyone to see. “This is what happens when Hashem takes a man’s wife and son. Hashem should have known this would happen. He should have known!”
    Jacob turned and strode away – not toward his apartment, where he would have to walk past all his other black-hatted friends, but back up the