Where'd You Go, Bernadette: A Novel Read Online Free PDF Page B

it. She’s stuck.”
    If that sounds weird, it isn’t. Our house is old. All day and night it cracks and groans, like it’s trying to get comfortable but can’t, which I’m sure has everything to do with the huge amount of water it absorbs any time it rains. It’s happened before that a door all of a sudden won’t open because the house has settled around it. This was the first time Ice Cream was involved.
    Mom and I raced home and I flew upstairs calling, “Ice Cream, Ice Cream.” In Mom and Dad’s bedroom, there’s a row of confessionals they use as closets. The doors are rounded and pointy at the top. Behind a door, Ice Cream was barking, not a scared whimpering bark, but a playful bark. Trust me, she was laughing at us.
    There were tools all over the floor and also some two-by-fours, which are always on hand in case we need to secure tarps to the roof. I pulled the door handle, and there was no give whatsoever.
    “I tried everything,” Mom said. “The fascia is totally rotted. See there? How the beam is sagging?” I knew Mom fixed up houses before I was born, but she was talking as if she were a whole different person. I didn’t like it. “I tried to raise the doorframe with a jack,” she said, “but I couldn’t get enough leverage.”
    “Can’t we just kick it in?” I said.
    “The door opens out…” Mom drifted off in thought, then had an idea. “You’re right. We’ll have to kick it open, from the inside. Let’s climb up the house and go in through the window.” Now, that sounded fun.
    We ran down the stairs and got a ladder from the shed and dragged it across the squishy lawn to the side of the house. Mom put down some plywood as a base for the ladder. “OK,” she said, “you hold it. I’ll climb up.”
    “She’s my dog,” I said. “You hold the ladder.”
    “Absolutely not, Bala. It’s too dangerous.”
    Mom took off her scarf and wrapped it around her right hand,then began her ascent. It was funny seeing her in her Belgian shoes and Capri pants climbing up the paint-splattered ladder. She punched the stained glass with her protected hand and unlatched the window, then climbed in. An eternity passed.
    “Mom!” I kept calling. The rotter didn’t even stick her head out. I was so drenched and annoyed that I didn’t care. I put my foot on the ladder. It was totally secure. I scrambled up superquick because what would have made me lose my balance was Mom catching me halfway up and yelling. I took me about eight seconds and I climbed in the window without slipping.
    Ice Cream had no reaction when she saw me. She was more interested in Mom, who was karate-kicking the door, and karate-kicking the door, and karate-kicking the door. “Gaaah,” Mom cried with each kick. Finally, the door skidded open.
    “Nice job,” I said.
    Mom jumped. “Bee!” She was furious, and got furiouser when there was a loud crash outside. The ladder had fallen away from the house and was lying across the lawn.
    “Whoops,” I said. I gave Ice Cream a huge hug and breathed in her musty scent for as long as I could without passing out. “You are the worst dog ever.”
    “This came for you.” Mom handed me a letter. The return address was the Choate seal. “Congratulations.”
    Mom had dinner delivered early and we drove out to celebrate with Dad. As we zoomed across the floating bridge over Lake Washington, my mind was wild with images of Choate. It was so vast and clean, and the buildings so majestic, red brick with ivy on the sides. It’s what I imagined England would look like. Dad and I had visitedin the spring when the tree branches were heavy with flowers and ducklings glided across sparkling ponds. I’d never seen a place so picturesque except for jigsaw puzzles.
    Mom turned to me. “You’re allowed to be happy about going away, you know.”
    “It’s just weird.”
    I love Microsoft. It’s where I went to day care, and when the sun was out they’d load us into big red wagons and pull