When You Walked Back Into My Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

he’s not back. I just bumped into him in the supermarket.’
    ‘Aren’t you going to see him? Mum seems to think you are. She’s going mental.’
    Flora laughed. ‘She obviously doesn’t trust me to stay away.’
    Bel was frowning. ‘But do you think you still love him?’ Fin and Bel had got on well. He wasn’t interested in relating to her as a child, but he would take her off swimming or to the park as soon as lunch was over – ever keen to escape confinement and social interchange – on the rare occasions he and Flora came up to London to visit the family.
    She flinched at Bel’s question. ‘No … how could I?’ she said eventually.
    Her niece watched her and waited, a worried look on her face.
    ‘I suppose maybe I still love the man who loved me back then,’ she added.
    ‘Wow.’ Bel frowned. ‘That’s complicated. But … maybe he still does love you. You don’t know.’
    The television, put on pause, suddenly sprang to life and startled them both. Flora reached for the remote and turned it off.
    ‘I know people stop loving each other, but I don’t really understand how,’ Bel said. ‘I mean, if you have this intense feeling that takes you over like you can’t breathe … where does it go?’
    Flora smiled and shrugged. ‘Where indeed.’
    ‘And can it come back at any time, if it’s been there once?’ Bel persisted. ‘What if I fell in love with someone now, and it didn’t work out for whatever reason? And then I met him again, say in twenty years’ time – when I’m old and married to someone else – why wouldn’t I, potentially, have the same feelings for him that I had before? It could be really dodge.’
    Flora laughed. ‘You could. But mostly it doesn’t work like that. I suppose your feelings for the new person supersede the old love. Or the things that went wrong in the first place – theanger and resentment and stuff – change your feelings. Kill them in most cases.’
    ‘Like with you and Fin.’
    ‘No … not like with me and Fin. We were happy, and then he left. There were no bad feelings to kill the love.’
    ‘So if …’ Bel paused.
    ‘It’s late and I’m really tired,’ Flora interrupted, before Bel could say any more. ‘I think I should get to bed.’
    ‘Yeah, sure. Sorry.’ Bel leapt to her feet. ‘Time to face the music about those dumb keys, I guess.’
    Flora smiled and gave her a hug. ‘Good luck with that.’
    ‘If you hear Mum attacking me with a meat cleaver, you will come, won’t you?’
    ‘Only if you scream loudly enough. Your mum’s floor insulation is second to none.’

CHAPTER 3
    14 September
    Flora could have turned north up Gloucester Road and gone to the Marks and Spencer on Kensington High Street for the groceries. She had done so before, and Dorothea loved the lemon mousse from there. But she turned right towards the arcade.
    It was five days since she had seen Fin, and every day she struggled valiantly to dampen the volcanic emotions his presence had triggered. But, even in her most sensible moments, she couldn’t help feeling the tantalising breeze of hope. What if … what if … she asked herself in the silence of the early hours. And today she made a conscious decision to take one more look.
    She spent longer than usual filling her basket. Shechecked every aisle, lingered in the vegetable section, and was pleased that there was only one cashier on the tills so that the small queue held her up for a few moments more. But there was no sign of Fin and disappointment stung her, made her want to cry. As she walked dispiritedly back to Dorothea’s flat, she was aware of the dark shadow hovering at the edge of her brain like a gang of black figures ready to pounce. It frightened her.
    When depression hit her a few weeks after Fin had left, she thought she had a physical illness, like flu or M.E. She had been poleaxed, literally unable to get out of bed. It had been three days before Sal, a friend from the hospital,