When Secrets Die Read Online Free PDF Page A

counseling. No, that wasn’t it.”
    I ate chicken, listening to her reasons. She swore it wasn’t the death of their son that had driven them finally and completely apart. She called it a three-part breakup, very analytical.
    Part one was, indeed, the stress of losing their son.
    Part two had come the evening Clayton Roubideaux had been foolish enough to make his true feelings known—that in comparison to his love for his blood son, his feelings for her daughter, Blaine, were a poor second best.
    Part three was the way he told people, while Ned was sick and even after he died, that they were married. They weren’t. He was divorced, as were most men her age who were available for a committed relationship, and she could understand not wanting to get married again. But she could not understand saying you were when you weren’t. So all of his crap about “not needing the paper” etc. was just that, crap. He thought marriage was important, but just didn’t want to be married to her. And he had a need to legitimize his grief, his choice of mother for his son, and the time they spent together with the lie that they were, indeed, married. It was knowing how much he valued the vows, coupled with the knowledge that he did not think enough of her to commit to her and to their life together, that convinced her to end the relationship.
    â€œClayton and I weren’t destined to make it. He didn’t love me enough, you know? If I hadn’t gotten pregnant with Ned, I don’t think we’d have moved in together. Or, I don’t know, maybe me getting pregnant made us get serious too soon. Although, sometimes I think this sloooow-drip courtship trend is an excuse for people to dawdle around in relationships. I don’t know. I just screw relationships up, don’t listen to me.”
    I laughed, trying not to sputter beer.
    â€œBut it would have been stupid to stay with a man who didn’t love me enough to commit to me, even though I’d had a child with him, which, from my standpoint, means I made all the commitment and he gets off scot-free. Which is fine, because who wants a reluctant committer?”
    â€œNo one.”
    â€œAnd what makes me actually hate him, is he told my daughter that he’d wished she had died instead of Ned. That alone—”
    â€œHe actually said that to her?”
    â€œNot in those words, but believe me, he made it clear. I was there, I saw it.”
    I mixed sour cream and salsa in the black beans and rice. Messy and delicious. I took a bite, thinking, as I listened to her, that there were, as always, three sides to every story. Listening to him in his office, he had been an ideal husband and father. Of course, he hadn’t been a husband, which made his story suspect.
    â€œHe’s not a bad guy,” Emma said. “At least, not horrible. I think you’ve seen him at his worst.”
    I took another bite of beans. So far, I was reining in my opinions, at least verbally. I was thinking mean thoughts, though, as usual.
    â€œI’d still like to hire you. To investigate the doctor, and if you want to investigate me, go ahead, I don’t care. But I don’t want you reporting in to Clayton. I want him out of the mix. I do want to know what those people think they have on me.”
    â€œWhat people?”
    â€œThe doctor. The Child Protective Services people. The law . Because I think the accusation is just a blackmail thing.”
    â€œExtortion. If you mean that they are threatening you with legal action if you don’t back off in regard to what happened with your son and his remains.”
    â€œThat’s exactly what I do mean. And if you think I am guilty—”
    â€œI don’t believe in it.”
    â€œIn Munchausen by proxy?”
    â€œThat’s right. I think it’s just another way of society controlling uppity women. Why, do you?”
    She held her fork, midair, head cocked to