When Johnny Came Marching Home Read Online Free PDF

two fight?"
    "Wasn't much of a fight," Josiah said. "I grabbed him an' pulled him off Heddy an' throwed him onna groun'." He paused, then continued, "An' maybe I kicked him a time or two."
    "That must of riled him up a bit," I said.
    "A bit, but there was an ol' pitchfork leanin' up against the shed an' I took hold of it, an' he moved off right smart . . . said he'd make me answer fer what I done later."
    "And did he?"
    "Never said another word ta me, an' whenever we came across each other he jus' looked right through me . . . like I wasn't even there."
    I thought over what Josiah had said. "Why'd you think I knew about this?" I asked.
    "I figured Johnny woulda tol' ya."
    "Why?"
    "Yer his frien' . . . his white frien'," he said.
    "Johnny and I haven't been friends since that time in Spotsylvania. You know that, Josiah."
    He looked at me and I could see regret in his eyes. "Truth is, there's times when I don't know nothin' 'bout white people," he said.
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    * * *
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    I remained on the veranda after Josiah left. Walter Johnson and his wife Mary arrived to pay their respects, although Rebecca was noticeably absent. I asked after her and was told she'd been delayed at the store and would be along presently. Rebecca arrived a short time later, nodded a greeting to me, and went inside. I decided to wait so I could speak to her about Johnny, about something she had said about him.
    While I waited I glanced in the window and noticed that Rebecca had chosen not to sit with her father and stepmother, but was quietly speaking to Reverend Harris and his wife.
    When she came outside I asked if I could have a moment of her time. The question brought an odd look to her face.
    "You're always welcome to my time, Jubal," she said. "I hope you will always remember that."
    I took her elbow and guided her to the far end of the veranda where we could find some privacy. Standing in the muted light that came from a nearby window I was again struck by Rebecca's beauty, the soft glow that seemed to radiate from her face, the gentleness that flowed from her emerald eyes, and I had to force myself to speak quickly or risk becoming mute and appearing like some lovesick schoolboy.
    "You said something the other day, something about Johnny," I began. "You said he left for the war as a pleasant boy and returned a cruel man." I paused, but she said nothing. "What happened to make you feel that way?"
    She stared at me with open curiosity. "Didn't you notice the change in him? You grew up with Johnny, we both did. He was mischievous, just as we all were. But none of us were cruel. When Johnny came home you could see the cruelty in him. It flowed out of his eyes when he looked at you. When you got home you must have seen that. Haven't you heard things about him since you got home?"
    I felt suddenly embarrassed. I had had one very brief, very violent confrontation with Johnny shortly after I returned home, and I had found little satisfaction in it. I had spent almost a year in a military hospital in Virginia, not only recovering from my wounds but also nursing the overwhelming pity I felt for myself. Since returning home, that pity had only grown and I hadn't paid much attention to anything but myself. Now that realization reached out and shook me.
    I studied my boots for a moment. "I guess I haven't noticed a lot of things. And I haven't paid attention to the things I've heard, especially things about Johnny. To be honest, I avoided Johnny, and everything about him, as much as I possibly could."
    "You've avoided everyone, Jubal." She touched the empty sleeve of my shirt, and it startled me and made me take a step back. She stared at me. "Just as you are now," she said, her voice becoming little more than a whisper. "Come back to us, Jubal. Come back to me . My brother never came home. You lost your arm, don't lose everything else because of it."
    I looked out into the night. "It's very hard, Rebecca."
    "Yes, I'm certain it is. But the war took Abel away