When God Was a Rabbit Read Online Free PDF Page B

hair.
    ‘That’s all right,’ I said.
    ‘They’re nice glasses,’ she said. ‘Did you get them from Nancy?’
    ‘I did,’ I said proudly. ‘She wears them at premieres.’
    ‘I thought so,’ said Jenny.
    ‘They don’t look too big?’ I ventured.
    ‘No, they don’t,’ she said. ‘But they’re really dark. Can you see all right?’
    ‘Of course I can,’ I said, lying, having just missed a lamppost but not unfortunately the curl of dog turd that was positioned at its base. It coated the underside of my shoe like grease and its sour smell lounged around in my nostrils.
    ‘What’s that smell?’ asked Jenny, looking around.
    ‘Winter drawing in,’ I said with a heavy sigh, and I grabbed her arm and we marched towards the safety of the black iron gates.
     
    In hindsight, I probably should have taken the glasses off for my audition, because I stumbled towards the school assembly hall like an old seer.
    ‘Sure you’re OK?’ said the prefect, leading me by the arm.
    ‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I said as I tripped over his shoe. The large doors opened and Jenny Penny ran out.
    ‘How’d it go?’ I asked eagerly.
    ‘Great,’ she said, giving me the thumbs up.
    ‘What part did they give you?’ I whispered.
    ‘The octopus. Nonspeaking,’ she said. ‘What I wanted.’
    ‘I didn’t know there was an octopus,’ I said.
    ‘There’s not,’ she said. ‘They asked me to be a camel. But with all the animals marching in two by two, there must have been an octopus.’
    ‘That’s Noah’s Ark,’ I said.
    ‘Same thing. Still the Bible,’ she said. ‘They’ll never know the difference.’
    ‘Probably not,’ I said, trying to be supportive.
    ‘I’m making the costume myself,’ she said, and I suddenly felt nervous.
    As I walked into the great hall, I could barely make out the five faces seated behind the desk; but there was one face that cut through the blackness like the all-seeing eye of Horus: my old teacher, Miss Grogney. The Nativity play was her ‘baby’ and she boasted that she had written it all by herself; strangely omitting any mention of either Matthew or Luke.
    ‘Eleanor Maud?’ said a man’s voice.
    ‘Yes,’ I said.
    ‘Are you OK?’ he asked.
    ‘Yes,’ I said.
    ‘Are your eyes OK?’ he asked.
    ‘Yes,’ I said, nervously adjusting the frames on my face.
    ‘Don’t fidget,’ shouted Miss Grogney, and I waited for her to add, You blasphemer .
    ‘What do you have for us?’ asked the man.
    ‘What?’ I said.
    ‘Your audition piece,’ said Miss Grogney.
    Panic gripped my unprepared being.
    ‘Well?’ said Miss Grogney. ‘Hurry up.’
    I moved slowly to the front of the stage, words floating in and out of my mind, some lucid, many random, until a group huddled together and I recognised the coherent rhythmic pattern. I couldn’t remember it all, but it was one of Nancy’s favourite speeches and I’d heard her practise it as religiously as a scale. I didn’t understand it all, but maybe they would and I coughed and said, ‘It’s from the film The Covenant 1 and I’m the character Jackie and I’m ready.’
    ‘Go ahead,’ said Miss Grogney.
    I took a deep breath and opened my arms.
    ‘I know you won’t pay for the shoes or even the dress. But what about the abortion, godammit! At least give me money for a bottle of gin.’
    ‘That’s enough!’ screamed Miss Grogney, and she pointed her finger at me. ‘You. Wait .’
    I stood in my self-imposed darkness and watched them huddle together and whisper. I heard them say, ‘ Interesting ’. I heard them say, ‘ Great idea ’. But what I didn’t hear them say was Mary or Joseph .
     
    That night, my mother carried in her favourite casserole dish and placed it, steaming, onto the table. The kitchen was dark and candles flickered on every surface.
    My mother lifted the lid. Rich dark smells of meat and onion and wine.
    ‘I wish we could dine like this every night,’ my brother said.
    Dine was his new word. Fine