What's Done In the Dark Read Online Free PDF

He stood up awkwardly as I came in.
    “I–I wasn’t sure if you were going to come,” he said.
    My gaze shifted downward. “Me either.”
    “Believe it or not, I really have been faithful.”
    “Me, too.”
    “But, I . . .” He stepped closer. “I’ve never felt so alone.”
    “Me either.”
    “Felise, I don’t . . .”
    I held up my hands to stop him. “I know,” I whispered.
    He stepped closer, until I could feel the heat from his body. His breathing was labored, and I could tell he was having an inner battle—just like me.
    Steven gently ran a finger behind my ear, then down my neck and around to my chest.
    He still remembered what turned me on.
    I released a slow moan as I relished his touch. “This is so wrong,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
    “It is. But I want you, Felise. I need you.”
    We each waited on the other to move until finally unbridled passion made our decision for us.
    He kissed me with a ferociousnessI hadn’t felt in years. Everything inside me wanted to protest, stop him before we went too far, but when I opened my mouth, once again nothing came out. And the minute I felt his tongue, my body reacted. When our tongues did a slow dance, I shivered. When he kissed my neck, I needed more.
    He slowly slid off my dress. “Oh, my God,” he said when he noticed my negligee, which I’d forgotten I was still wearing. “You. Are. Stunning,” he said, running his eyes up and down my body. It felt so good to be appreciated. To be wanted.
    He didn’t ask why I had the negligee on. He just planted sensual kisses all over my body. Steven took me the height of ecstasy right there against the wall of the hotel room. And before I could catch my breath, he was guiding me toward the bed, where he did it again and again.
    Waves of euphoria filled my body until I collapsed in his arms. I realized that slow tears were sliding down my cheeks. I wanted to believe they were guilty tears, but I knew better. These were tears of pure bliss, peppered with thoughts of what could have been.
    After we finished, we lay in silence. I snuggled close to him as his arms formed a protective barrier around me.
    “I don’t know the last time I felt like this,” he said.
    “Me either.” We relapsed into silence—a blissful, comfortable silence—for a while. Then I sat up. “Why didn’t we work?” I knew I didn’t need to be going there. But as I’d watched his happy life with Paula over the years, I can’t tell you the number of times I wondered why that couldn’t have been me. I didn’t realize how much I’d suppressed my feelings until this unexpected release.
    He sat up with me. “We were young, stupid. We didn’t realize we were best friends for areason.”
    I sighed, remembering a relationship I had long ago blocked out. Steven was my friend before he was my lover. He was the first boy I met at the University of Texas at Austin. He was a year above me and took me under his wing. He had a girlfriend at the time and never made any inappropriate moves. We were merely good friends who evolved into best friends. Our relationship became a source of contention with his girlfriend, and when they broke up, we grew even closer.
    We made the mistake of briefly taking our relationship to the next level my junior year. And it was wonderful—until he announced that he was heading to law school in DC. I had no desire for a long-distance relationship and decided that crossing the line of friendship had been a mistake. I don’t know if I really felt like that or if I just couldn’t bear the thought of my boyfriend being so far away. At the same time I’d met Greg—a first-year grad student—and he was constantly in my ear about the life that he could provide if only I gave him a chance.
    I thought the grass would be greener. It was a decision I’d regretted ever since.
    I wanted to ask Steven more questions, but I knew if we kept talking, Paula’s name would come up. And I couldn’t bear