plague and other exotic maladies not often acquainted with Swansea, Massachusetts. But Clive chose not to dwell on his seemingly minor malady. He shook off the discomfort.
"Well, are we on for lunch?"
"Sure. The usual?"
"You know it."
"Well, I'll see you later. Malcolm is already burying me with work this morning. I swear, he barks orders at me just to have an excuse to stare at my tits."
Clive's lips curled into a crooked smile. "If I were your boss, I might do the same thing."
"Ha-ha."
Although her laugh was sarcastic, Connie's smile seemed genuine. It made Clive blush. He rarely had the courage to flirt. He hoped Connie wasn't completely put off by it.
"I'll catch you later," she said with a wink. She strutted confidently in high heels back to her desk.
Clive stared at his desk clock. It was 9:35 a.m. He turned on his computer. Briefly, he considered getting some work done before beginning a moderately compulsive, daily bout with Spider Solitaire and an even less productive Instant Messenger conversation with Derek LeRoux. Distracters aside, Clive's mind remained focused on Connie, her lingering perfume that he found undeniably enticing and her affectionate demeanor, awakening dormant thoughts of what he dreamed could be. It worked, at least partly, for Hephaestus and Aphrodite. He wondered, couldn't it work for him and Connie?
Nah. She's way out of my league . No one could crush Clive's optimism better than Clive himself. Unobtainable .
"So when are you going to hook me up with Morgan?"
Derek's message appeared on his monitor, followed by a winking smiley face that made Clive cringe. How gay , he thought, resting his fingertips on his keyboard in true typist fashion. A retort was warranted.
"Dude, did you ever hear of the motto, 'bros before hos?' You know we're more than just friends, right?"
Derek LeRoux was Clive's best friend by default. Other than Morgan, Derek was Clive's only real friend. But he found Derek to be egocentric, dorky, and somewhat sneaky. Needless to say, it wasn't an overly valuable friendship.
Derek worked an equally dead-end job as an IT guy for a struggling wannabe Geek Squad rip-off. He fit the computer geek profile well: hair parted to the side; utility belt with a cellphone and portable radio that he put to no known uses; a second cellphone of equally unknown use; white button-down, tan khakis and black, slip-resistant shoes, which he wore nearly every day; and a slight pot belly from too many lunches at the local Taco Bell and too many dinners at the local sports pub. He was a pioneer in Dungeons and Dragons back in that one afternoon where D&D was almost cool, or at least not yet known enough to be universally ridiculed for its high nerd factor. Rumor had it that he had already logged over two hundred hours playing the latest offering from the World of Warcraft.
Together, he and Clive probably averaged ten hours of actual work each week. Clive couldn't guess why either of them was still employed. But despite his lack of ambition, Derek was neither a good guy nor a bad guy. He was just Derek, somewhat sleazy, somewhat loyal, but always, always predictable. And always after Morgan.
"How long have you known her?" Derek asked.
"Nearly my whole life."
"And you never dated her?"
"It's not like that."
"Whatever, man. I'm just saying, share the wealth."
"I don't think you're her type."
"What's that supposed to mean? Her type ain't a sexy and smart stallion like me?"
"Yeah, you reek of class."
"Hey, I can be classy. I took my last date to Outback."
"Yep, you the man. Anyway, I have to go. Work beckons."
"Is Judge Judy riding your ass again?"
Clive reached for his mouse at warp speed, frantically closing out the message box as though its very presence was toxic. Then, he re-messaged Derek to let him know that he was pissed.
"Damn it, Derek. I told you a hundred times not to write shit like that. You never know when she's spying."
"You never know when who's spying?" a voice