Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much Read Online Free PDF Page A

since. Though I continued to struggle with food, weight, and empathy overload. I began to sort out all my addictions and issues. I learned a lot about controlling my weight and eating when I was in Overeaters Anonymous, which I joined after I stopped drinking and I began to gain weight. There, I heard from many people who shared the same experiences I’d had—weight gain that couldn’t be explained by a simple equation of calories in, calories out. We all knew and understood that out-of-control emotions often led us to overeat, or to eat mindlessly. For me, that mysterious-weight-gain piece just hung out there, a cipher that I hoped would explain itself someday. Meanwhile, the numbers on my scale went up and down, which challenged my self-esteem. I hated not being able to control my weight, and I wore my shame and frustration in every extra pound.
    Then, as I became more confident in my sobriety and worked through some of the more painful issues, thereby developing a stronger sense of self-worth and self-esteem, I found that with very little effort on my part, the pounds just started coming off. Wow, what was that about? Who cares? Something’s working! I’m getting thinner! Woo hoo! I was lead singer and songwriter in an all-girl group called Isis, and I was loving my life. Singing was medicine. The more I sang, the more grounded I felt. I was finally doing what made me happy and inspired me. One of my musician friends was a student of Tibetan Buddhism, and he seemed always “chill” and relaxed; since I was definitely not that, I joined a meditation group as part of my new healthy lifestyle.
    A health food store near my home sold Himalayan salts for the bath, and in conversation with the owner one day, I told him I was on a clean-living path. He suggested using the baths as a detox and calmative, and I started to meditate while taking salt baths before bed as the final part of my daily routine. I ate well, without too many restrictions (I avoided white sugar and flour, but that’s about it—although that’s a key to my maintaining a healthy weight today, too). I exercised moderately, walking for about an hour a day. Each day, I had a plan. As suggested in twelve-step programs, I turned my will and my life and my food and my body over to a higher power. I’d created this structure to ensure my mental, spiritual, and physical wellness, and I found it made me feel liberated regardless of the outer conditions of my life that were mired in stress.
    My father had lost all the family’s money in a bad business venture a few years before this, and both my parents became ill from the stress. My father developed rapid-onslaught of Alzheimer’s disease and then died of a stroke. Somehow I stayed sober and clean and numb, without too big a detour into foodville. It appeared I could handle everything that life threw at me—no problem. Then, a year later, everything changed.
    I was 138 pounds the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. By her funeral four months later, I weighed 219 pounds. I did not eat enough calories to have gained 80 pounds in less than four months! This bizarre weight gain when my mom died was the first, most obvious sign that there was some mysterious thread affecting my life tapestry that I needed to discern and understand. The fact that feelings alone could make me fat was unthinkable, unscientific, and impossible—yet I couldn’t deny what had just happened. I stayed very heavy for another couple years, ignoring many of my good habits other than not picking up a drink or drug. Nothing miraculous occurred the day I surrendered, but I guess you might say I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired; and so I began to embark on a new journey of self-acceptance, working with a therapist, meditating again, and being honest with myself about my detours.
    Things improved again, I met a man, and I married him, in spite of the warnings from friends (and