We Interrupt This Date Read Online Free PDF

more ways than one. Now she turned on the
radio Odell keeps on a shelf against the wall and danced and swayed
in the doorway to Heartbreak
Hotel .
    “Need something, Patty?”
    “Just curious. You’ve been in such a scatterbrained
mood all afternoon. Carrying your mama to the doctor doesn’t
usually have that effect on you, so I assume it was something your
friend, the tight-assed businesswoman, said over lunch. Let me
guess. She’s finally figured out money won’t buy her love, so she’s
going to share with you in the hopes that will get her some points
with the relationship gods and they’ll send her a decent man to
warm her bed.”
    I shook my head in mock sadness. “You’re
awful.”
    “I’d go home and burn some candles, but I’ve
already forgiven myself for my bitchiness. Now tell me what’s got
you smiling.”
    “I told you, I’m simply in a great mood.”
    I hadn’t realized I was smiling. But I didn’t
dare tell Patty about Veronica’s plan to take me away from all
this. It had come to nothing, but Patty couldn’t keep a secret if
her lips were stuck shut with Super Glue.
    “Lately you’ve been in a great mood more
often than not.”
    “I haven’t noticed.” Like everyone else, I
wasn’t likely to pay attention to moods unless they were the kind
that made me miserable.
    “Honey, I know what it is. You’re looking
forward to our dates tonight with Kyle and Herman--don’t judge.
He’s named after his father.”
    “Sure, Patty. Herman might turn out to be The
One. I’m mentally planning my next wedding.” Like I even needed a
man in my life now that I had all the freedom everyone had told me
about.
    “Make me your matron of honor and I’ll bake
you a red velvet wedding cake and get my brother Floyd to bring his
Bluegrass band and do the music for half price.”
    The chime on the front door sounded and she
scurried back behind the register. I picked up the last invoice on
my desk. I wondered if Herman was as good a catch as his
cousin--Patty’s boyfriend Kyle--had promised.
    ***
    The answer to that question came soon enough.
Kyle roared to a stop in my driveway in his black crew cab pickup
promptly at seven. I’d been watching from the window. I saw a
moderately good-looking, slightly paunchy man with a wide face and
wide-apart eyes approach the front door. I backed away from the
window and waited for him to ring the bell. I took a second to
touch my hair for reassurance before I opened the door.
    I liked the way Herman complimented me on my
outfit—cream colored silk blouse and black slacks—and my hair,
piled on top of my head in curls, thanks to my curling iron and
about a gallon of hairspray. I didn’t like the way he put his hand
on the small of my back and applied so much pressure I had to move
along in a near trot.
    Herman and I sat in back. Patty turned and
gave me a thumbs up. She always acts a little high around Kyle. I
couldn’t help noting she’d forgotten to draw her eyebrows back on.
She shaves them off because they’re orange, her natural hair color,
then she draws them back on in black. They usually rub off toward
the end of the day and now they were faint, charcoal-colored lines
over her eyes making her face look like an unfinished portrait. I
might clue her in later.
    “We’re going to Bubba Gump’s,” she said. “I
love their shrimp.”
    Bubba Gump’s was on Market Street. I’d only
been a couple of times, but I liked it.
    “I’m more of a meat and potatoes man,” Herman
said, patting his stomach. “Person shouldn’t have to worry about
shells getting in the way when they eat.”
    “There are no shells on the Bubba Gump
shrimp. Everybody knows they take those off before they cook them.
You’re not going to turn out to be one of those burger and fries
addicts, are you?” Patty said.
    “I might. I’m sure not going to let a woman
order for me.” Herman cracked his knuckles. He slid closer and I
smelled alcohol on his breath. Then he put his arm