cup, wrinkling her nose at the thick rotten-egg smell. “What is this godawful stuff?”
“Sanity,” he said, reaching for it. “Survival.”
She closed his fingers around the cup. “Drink it.”
“Need the blood . . .” With an effort that left him breathless and retching, he struggled upright. Held his palm above the cup as three drops of blood slid into the viscous potion. Immediately, the slimy, slick burn of Fey-blood magic hardened like knives against her mind.
Meeryn felt her stomach rise into her throat just watching him. “Are you sure that’s wise?”
He swirled it around before gulping it down in one swig. “Swallow . . . or die . . .” he murmured, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall with a sigh.
Minutes passed as she watched the sky brighten behind the curtain and the shadows retreat to pools in the corners. Gray’s face lost the stretched chalky pallor of the deathly ill, his shoulders relaxed, his hands uncurled to lie flat upon his knees, his shaking stopped.
“It grows worse every day,” he said quietly.
“What does? What was that you took?”
“The draught keeps the curse in check, but the trade-off is my life. The potion is eating it away.”
“Then stop, for heaven’s sake.”
He shook his head. “Can’t. To go without for more than a few days is to end as you saw me. Slipping toward a horrible and painful death. I need to stay alive a little longer. I haven’t finished my work . . . things I must do for the good of the clans. Then I can let go. Gladly let go.”
“The Fey-bloods did this to you, didn’t they? I canfeel their foul stench all over this. Those soul-feeding, back-stabbing, treacherous—”
“Meeryn.” His voice, quiet but firm, pulled her up short. When had he learned that little trick? “The Fey offered the four of us hope. They’d no idea of the consequences. It’s their magic reacting with our bodies. We warp the energy, taint it. They would heal us if they could, but there’s nothing to be done.”
“I don’t believe it. They must have known. It was a trick.”
“Poison four outcast Imnada? To what purpose?”
“You’re the heir to the five clans. They must have known. This was their way of ridding themselves of an enemy leader.”
“I’m heir to nothing. Not since the Ossine stripped me of my mark and cast me out. The Fey gain nothing with my death. The Imnada, on the other hand, would be more than happy to have me gone.”
“Is there nothing you can do?”
“I may have found an answer. I just need time.” He closed his eyes. “A commodity fast running out. A few months—give or take—is all I have.”
“Don’t be silly,” she said, frightened at the resignation in his voice. “We’ll figure it out. You and me together. Just like when we were little.”
He reached up to push her hair off her face and trace the line of her cheek. His hand was cold and moist to the touch with illness, but his eyes were as brilliant as blue ice. “I’ve missed you, Meeryn.”
Her heart tumbled in her chest. “Fine way of showing it. I came back from the islands all those years ago to find you gone off to the army and nothing but one miserable note shoved under my door as farewell. Doyou know how that felt?” She snapped her jaw shut on words she’d never expected to speak aloud. Glanced away on an awkward silence.
“I’m sorry. I knew I should have waited, but . . .” He dipped a shoulder in dismissal and whatever he’d been about to say was left unspoken. “Grandfather was so proud. You’d have thought I’d taken on Napoleon single-handed. After Waterloo and those final days, it was horrid to see him look at me . . . through me . . . as if I was nothing . . . as if I no longer existed.”
“I know that look.”
“Do you? What on earth could the duke’s favorite have done to warrant such harshness? The man thought the sun rose and set in you.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Just