Walking the Tree Read Online Free PDF

With just the fathers inside it was a comfortable place to be. Usually there were too many people, too crowded, too close, not enough air. She hated that confinement, could feel it sucking the air from her blood.
      The fathers sat drinking tea, talking. There was silence when Lillah entered.
      "Well?" said one, after many blinks had passed. "We are waiting for the news. What of Magnolia and her baby?"
      Lillah relaxed. They would try to frighten her, be aggressive, but all of it was a test. None of it was real. They were faking it to see how she would react. These men had fed her, bathed her, tended her wounds, comforted her.
      "It's a baby boy, he's fine, he's already fed."
      The men murmured and smiled at this news. A baby who did not take that first feed would be trouble for the Order. Especially a male baby.
      Lillah felt pleased for Magnolia that she and her baby had managed this first thing. Male babies who fed poorly were considered unhealthy and not expected to lead long or fulfilling lives.
      "And Magnolia? The bleeding?"
      Lillah nodded. "When I left the bleeding had stopped and she was sleeping."
      "Her cheeks? What colour were her cheeks?"
      "Pink. Quite pink when I left." The murmurs again, and laughter. Lillah felt a sense of ownership, pride, as if as messenger she owned, had created, the good news. "She seems frightened, though. Nervous."
      Agara's father, a strong-voiced, kind man said, "So many of our babies die in the first day. She doesn't want her baby to die. Now, Lillah, we have a report about your behaviour."
      He is so arrogant. He is trying to frighten me, Lillah thought. Let them explain. Don't apologise or speak before I know what they're talking about. Is this about shouting at my father? Did they hear that Dickson tried to kiss me? Or is it about throwing away scraps of food because I'm too lazy to mince and compost them? Any of the small things she did in a day could be up for discussion.
      Lillah let the silence sit, until Thea's father laughed.
      "You're certainly good at holding your tongue when you want to," he said. "That is a talent, Lillah, which may help you in the future. You must be careful not to silence your true self, though. So many of us ignore our inner voices in trying to please those around us, and we can lose our individuality. I would hate to see you lose your character, Lillah. You must pick a partner with whom you can be your true self, but also a man strong enough to speak the truth himself. It will be very easy to choose somebody who worships you; you will find this wherever you go. You don't want to be a precious stone, untouchable, Lillah. You want to be a leader and you will be a great leader if you find a strong partner who is not frightened to tell you when you are wrong."
      Lillah had to strain to concentrate because the words meant to her that she had been selected, even without the interview.
      "Thank you," Lillah said at last. "Thank you. I will not ignore what you say. But can I choose someone handsome?"
      The fathers laughed. "All want a handsome man, Lillah," Tilla said. "What will you seek beyond that? Do you have anything to you beyond what we see before us?"
      Lillah felt tears prick her eyes. Tilla was an old man, his children grown, and a good friend to her. He made her laugh, helped her view the world honestly. Why was he being cruel to her now?
      Dickson entered the hall and walked to the fathers.
      "You should not be here, Dickson. This is not your place."
      "I have a report to give. Pittos has asked me to come."
      He spoke with the fathers as Lillah watched, her heart beating. She felt sure he was not saying anything good about her.
      He stepped away, pursed his lips at Lillah, and left the hall.
      The fathers conferred.
      Then Tilla rose, took her hand. "Lillah, we have learnt a lot more about you from the way you handled yourself in your sister-in-law's birthing room than we