Waiting Period Read Online Free PDF

are forever frustrating me, torturing me, letting me get just so far then slamming the door in my face, forcing me to struggle just to prove I deserve my daily bread, god what animals these people are, worse than the goddamn mafia, at least theyre out and out thieves and murderers, but these others always pretend theyre your friend, here to help us—help us! help us go crazy. They know I deserve those benefits and they just keep turning me down for no reason at all, no justifiable reason and I have to prove over and over that I—ahhh, the hell with it. Im tired of all this madness. Tomorrow I/ll give him a little taste of what hes been serving. After tomorrow he/ll never frustrate me again. And I/ll not get careless. Now that I have a true purpose to life I have no worry about my mind not staying focused. Its almost too easy. He doesnt know me from Adam. He doesnt even know my name. All he knows is that another form letter is going out over his signature denying benefits. Perhaps I should bump into him and smile—no, no, none of that. No bravado, no silly games. Keep focused and remain as inconspicuous, as anonymous as possible. Nothing out of the ordinary. Take nothing for granted. I wonder what it will be like? I can feel my stomach fluttering just thinking about it. Ive never killed anyone like this, not that its really killing, I mean its no different than a war, but this is different than those killers too, its not like Im some kind of professional assassin. Not at all. Merely a spokesman for -the oppressed, a mere conduit for a micro-organism … yeah, thats right, yeah, only a conduit, an ambassador so to speak. But will I be able to do it? God, my bowels are rumbling just thinking about it. I/ll be alright. Its him or me. Thats what it comes down to, him or me, and better him. No, I dont care if he has a family. They deserve what they get. They must be just like him, or will be. He doesnt care if we have families or not, if our children suffer because he enjoys torturing us, enjoys refusing our claims. The greatest joy of his life is making certain we do not get what we have worked for and deserve. I can just see him coming home at night and telling his wife and children how many veterans disability claims he turned down today, and how proud they are of him. Youre damned right I dont feel sorry for them any more than they feel sorry for us. In a sense you can say Im simply doing what hes been doing all these years, Im rejecting his claim. Ha ha, thats a good one, I like that, rejecting his claim.
    Enough. Ive got to stop all this rambling and meandering. Need to relax and get a good nights sleep. I definitely do not want to be groggy tomorrow. Must have my wits about me. So … A nice warm bath, a glass of warm milk, and to bed.
    The man lies on his side, facing away from the window, so the light has yet to penetrate his closed lids, only an ear and part of a cheek visible so it is not certain, certainly not by whatever expression there may be on his face, if his sleep is peaceful and dreamless, yet it would seem there can be no nightmares, even though his decision of the night before, and the events that are ahead of him this day, are, to say the least, momentous. How many times is the question Can I kill him? turning itself around in his mind? Can he, in the safety of sleep, reply: I am not killing him, E.coli is? His face is still not visible, yet there are significant twitchings in his body, perhaps unnoticeable to an untrained eye, yet clearly apparent, twitchings that indicate that all is not peaceful, that there is an ever increasing activity in his mind, an activity not unknown to many. The room grows brighter and brighter and the light eases itself through his eyelids and soon he will be awake and not concern himself with what may have happened while he slept but most certainly will concentrate on the day before him, a day that will be momentous no matter what he may elect to do.
    Guess its a nice day out