Voices in a Haunted Room Read Online Free PDF Page B

have two husbands?
    I looked at David. How pleasant he was. There was an earnestness about him—an innocence in a way. I believed I could enjoy a life spent, at Eversleigh, discussing with him the affairs of the estate, looking after tenants on the Eversleigh land, delving into matters which absorbed us both.
    If I said Yes, my mother would be pleased. Dickon would be too, although he would be indifferent as to whether I chose David or Jonathan. But Jonathan had not asked me. Yet I knew that he wanted me… He lusted after me, as they put it in the Bible. And because of who I was he would have to marry me to get me into his bed.
    I came very near to saying Yes to David, but something held me back. It was the memory of Jonathan, and the stirring of hitherto unknown emotions which he had aroused in me.
    “I’m so fond of you, David,” I said. “You have always been my very good friend. But just now, I feel I want to wait.”
    He understood at once.
    “Of course, you want to wait. But think about it. Remember everything we could do. There is so much in the world to absorb us.” He waved his arms, indicating the shelves of books. “We have so much to share, and I love you very dearly, Claudine. I have from the moment you came here.”
    I kissed his cheek and he held me against him. I felt pleasantly secure and happy; but I could not shut out the memory of Jonathan; and when I looked in David’s clear blue eyes I thought of the startling blue flame in those of Jonathan.
    I couldn’t sleep that night. Perhaps that was understandable. I had had a proposal of marriage which I had almost accepted; I had also had the experience in the sewing room and I did not know which had affected me more deeply.
    One thing I had done before getting into bed was to lock my door. Coming to the sewing room as he had, Jonathan had shown me clearly that he was capable of rash actions, and my response had taught me that I had to beware of my own feelings.
    I spent the morning as I always did with my governess, and in the early afternoon I went for a ride. I had not gone very far when I was overtaken by Jonathan.
    “Hello,” he said. “What a surprise!”
    Of course I knew that he had watched me leave and had then come after me.
    “I should have thought you would have been ashamed to show your face,” I said.
    “I was under the impression that you rather liked it; and if it pleases you, that is all I ask.”
    “What do you imagine Molly Blackett thought of your behaviour in the sewing room?”
    “I must first ask a question of you. Does Molly Blackett think ? I believe her mind is completely taken up with pins and needles and ladies’—er—is there such a thing as a placket? It would be most appropriate if there is, because that rhymes with her name.”
    “She was shocked. You know very well that my mother did not wish to see her.”
    “But I wished to see you more closely in that delicious state of undress.”
    “It was very foolish and decidedly ungentlemanly.”
    “The best things in life often are,” he said ruefully.
    “I dislike this flippant talk.”
    “Oh come! You know you find it irresistible… as you do me.”
    “I knew you always had a high opinion of yourself.”
    “Naturally, for if I don’t, who else will? They take their cue from me, you know.”
    “I don’t want to hear any more glorification of your character.”
    “I understand. It does not need glorification. You are wise enough, chère Mademoiselle, to see it as it really is, and that pleases you. I believe it pleases you mightily.”
    “You are absurd.”
    “But adorable with it.”
    My answer to that was to whip up my horse. I turned into a field and galloped across it. He was beside me. I had to pull up, as I had come to a hedge.
    “Let me make a suggestion,” he said. “We could tether our horses and sit under yonder tree. Then we could talk of many things.”
    “It is hardly the weather for sitting out-of-doors. I believe it could snow in a