Voices in a Haunted Room Read Online Free PDF

You’ll be seventeen.”
    “It seems a sort of milestone.”
    “Isn’t every birthday?”
    “But seventeen! Stepping from childhood into maturity. A very special milestone, that one.”
    “I always thought you were wiser than your years.”
    “What a nice thing to say! Sometimes I feel quite foolish.”
    “Everybody does.”
    “Everybody? Dickon? Jonathan? I don’t think they ever felt foolish in all their lives. It must be gratifying to know that you are always right.”
    “Not unless it is universally agreed that you are.”
    “What do they care for universal opinions? It is only their own that count with them. Always to be right in one’s own eyes does give one a tremendous panache, don’t you think?”
    “I’d rather face the truth, wouldn’t you?”
    I considered. “Yes… on the whole, I think I would.”
    “We always seem to think alike. I want to say something to you, Claudine. I’m seven years older than you.”
    “Then you must be twenty-four if my arithmetic does not betray me,” I said lightly.
    “Jonathan is the same.”
    “I have heard that he put in an appearance slightly ahead of you.”
    “Jonathan would always be first even at such a time. We had one tutor who was always urging me to assert myself. ‘Go in,’ he used to say. ‘Don’t stand on the edge looking in. Don’t wait for your brother always. Go in ahead of him.’ It was sound advice.”
    “Which you did not always take.”
    “Hardly ever.”
    “It must be a little disconcerting sometimes to have a twin.”
    “Yes, there are the inevitable comparisons.”
    “But there is supposed to be a special bond.”
    “Jonathan and I have long ago released ourselves from that if it ever existed. He is indifferent towards me. Sometimes I think he despises my way of life. And I am not exactly overcome with admiration for his.”
    “You are quite different,” I said. “The fairies at the christening dealt out the human qualities—this one for Jonathan, that one for David… so that what each possesses, the other doesn’t…”
    “The qualities,” he said, “and the frailties. There is something I am leading up to.”
    “I gathered that.”
    “I should like to marry you, Claudine.”
    “What!” I cried.
    “Are you surprised?”
    “Not really… only that you bring it up at this time. I thought—after my birthday.”
    He smiled. “You seem to think there is some magic about the actual day.”
    “That’s foolish, isn’t it?”
    “Both your mother and my father would be pleased. It would be ideal. We have so much to interest us both. I wouldn’t have asked you if I hadn’t thought you liked me. I believe you enjoy our talks and everything…”
    “Yes,” I said, “I do. And I’m very fond of you, David, but—”
    “Have you never thought of marrying?”
    “Oh yes, of course.”
    “And… with someone?”
    “One can’t very well think about marriage without including a bridegroom.”
    “And did you ever consider me?”
    “Yes… I did. My mother talked to me about it. Parents always want to see their offspring married, don’t they? But my mother wants it to be right for me… she wouldn’t wish it otherwise.”
    He came to me then and took my hands in his. I was reminded how different he was from Jonathan, but I knew that he would be kind always, and understanding and interesting; oh yes, it would be a wonderful life with him.
    There was something missing though, and after my encounters with Jonathan, I knew what. I did not feel that overwhelming excitement when David took my hands, and I kept thinking of Jonathan in the sewing room slipping my shift from my shoulders; and I knew in that moment that I wanted them both. I wanted the gentleness, the reliability, the sense of security, the absorbing subjects I could share… all that came from David; and on the other hand, I wanted the excitement of that sensual allure which Jonathan brought me.
    I wanted them both. What a quandary, for how could one