Villain School Read Online Free PDF Page B

villains who pull Cook’s leg?” he growled, leaning closer, his gold tooth gleaming. “I cooks ’em up an’ serves ’em fer supper.”
    I made a mental note never to eat Cook’s mystery meat loaf again, even as my eyes wandered toward the kitchen.
    â€œSo do ye wanna change yer story, me bucko?” asked Cook. He was so close now I could see bits of food between his teeth.
    From over the old pirate’s shoulder, I saw Dodge with a sack full of food. He gave me the all-clear signal and slipped back behind the door. I sighed with relief.
    â€œWell,” I said, “now that I think about it, I might have just seen a giant slug that
looked
like a crocodile.”
    â€œAye,” said Cook.
    With a nervous smile, I backed away and hurried down the hall. Dodge met up with me, and we made our way to the Great Clock. Princess Ileana and Wolf Junior were both waiting with their arms full of party supplies. A minute later, Jezebel caught up with us.
    â€œSorry,” she said, panting. “I had to finish packing. I just have such an
extensive
wardrobe.”
    Beside her, Ileana rolled her eyes.
    â€œPacking?” I asked. “For what?”
    â€œNever mind! Just hurry!” she said, glancing around. We all knew if Master Dreadthorn caught us throwing a party, he’d have us dangling over a boiling cauldron quicker than we could say double, double, toil and trouble.
    Ileana found the switch and soon we were all climbing down the winding stairway. The princess took the lead, torch in hand. Before long we reached the round room Queen Catalina had called the Prophecy Cave.
    â€œThis is awesome!” Wolf Junior said as Ileana went around lighting all the wall torches.
    â€œLook at this door!” said Jezebel. “It must be a bazillion years old. Did you see these words?” She read the prophecy aloud to everybody.
    â€œYeah, Ileana’s mom said she had allies who were full-villain twins, but they kept it secret,” I said.
    Jezebel and Wolf both looked up at the mention of full-villain twins.
    â€œFull-villain? Not halfsies?” asked Wolf. “That’s weird.”
    â€œI wonder if your dad knew them,” said Jez as she unpacked the games. “He went to school the same time as the queen, didn’t he?”
    â€œYeah. Although he never said anything to me about villain twins.”
    My dad never said anything to me, period, unless it was something about me getting detention, or me being a failure, or me needing to scrub slug slime in the halls.
    â€œWell, who could blame him?” asked Wolf. “Betrayal, secrets, and power-stealing all sound pretty good, but ‘villains into heroes made’? That’s not cool. Who would want to be a hero? Bleck!”
    â€œWho’s hungry?” asked Dodge suddenly.
    I got a funny feeling he was trying to change the subject, but since I was starving, I let it pass. The conversation strayed away from the prophecy, and it didn’t take long before we were all eating and talking and playing Conopoly.
    â€œI’d like to buy two evil lairs on Dark Place and oneon Plank Walk,” I said to Dodge, who was the Corporate Villain in charge of the money.
    Dodge passed me three little black castles, but he still seemed kind of edgy, like he didn’t really care about the game. I put my castles on the board. Then it was Wolf’s turn. He rolled the dice and had to draw a mystery card. He wagged his tail in excitement and knocked all of my evil lairs off the board.
    â€œWatch it!” I said, pushing his tail away and repositioning my pieces.
    Then his ears sagged and he let out a doggy whimper as he read: “‘Your evil scheme to tie the princess to the train tracks failed. You must pay the owner of the railroad two hundred gold pieces for derailing the train and go directly to the Dungeon.’”
    â€œWhy would a villain want to tie a princess to train