Vanity, Vengeance And A Weekend In Vegas (A Sophie Katz Novel) Read Online Free PDF Page B

“I have to go. I need to consume a lot of alcohol now and all
this talking’s slowing me down.”
    “You know better than this,
Jack!” Her voice had become even more distant indicating that she was now at
least a few feet from the phone.   “I simply can’t have you trying to feed our appliances anymore!”
    “Leah! I’m hanging up now, okay?”
    “How would you like it if I tried
to put a DVD in your mouth! You wouldn’t like it, would you Jack? Would you? No, no! Don’t you
dare put your tongue on that DVD!”
    I hung up the phone.   Between letting my sister try to comfort
me here in San Francisco and going to Vegas to look at vibrators and origami
shaped penises…well, the latter was quite clearly the saner option.
     
 
 
     

 
 
Chapter 3
    “Doing Vegas while sober is like
driving into the setting sun without sunglasses.   Everything’s just a bit too bright and a little irritating;
but put on your shades and it’s all fabulous.”
    --Death Of The Party

 
    Dena and I arrived in Vegas at
4:00 on Friday, Marcus had moved his appointments around so that he could meet
us later in the evening at the bar of a new hotel named Hotel Noir.   He and Dena had decided to share a room
and I was to have a room all to myself. Ostensibly this was because they wanted
my weekend getaway to be as luxurious as possible. But the truth was that neither
of them wanted to listen to me crying into my pillow all night long.   As soon as the desert sunshine beat
down on me I knew I had made a mistake in coming.   Vegas didn’t feel like a town that welcomed and accommodated
depression. Perhaps I should have vacationed in Greece.
    But I tried to put on a happy
face for Dena as we checked into The Encore and then went to the convention
center to scope out the sex toys.  
    “What are these? Serenity balls?”
I asked as I stared down at two, small, smooth white balls resting in the
velvet interior of a decorative case. Dena and I had been at the sex-toy trade
show for less than two hours and already I was sex-toyed out.   Vibrators, lotions, gels that were
supposed to “Increase sensitivity,” oh and one couldn’t overlook the plethora
of pleather.   Individually this
stuff might all be fine but seeing it all thrown together like this was enough
to make you want to become a nun.   But the serenity balls held promise.   I needed some serenity.
    Dena shook her head. “They’re not
serenity balls, they’re Kegal balls. You’re supposed to hold them in your
vagina and squeeze.   Like a thigh
master but obviously not for your thighs.”
    “Oh, wow. That’s just
lovely.   It took me five years to
get comfortable with tampons. I certainly won’t be sticking whole balls up
there.” I quickly moved my eyes away only to have them land on a woman in a
bikini in the middle of a sex-swing demonstration.
    Dena gave the vendor of the balls
a tight-lipped smile before pulling me away. “I carry those in my store but the
truth is Kegel exercises will work just as well without them. But those ,” Dena
pointed over to a large table filled with what looked like bath toys for
children, “those I can sell.”
      Reluctantly I followed her over to the table as a cheery and
surprisingly conservatively dressed woman stepped up to help us.
    “Hi, are you familiar with our
products?” She asked as Dena picked up a bright pink, plastic anteater with a
suspicious looking nose.
    “You guys are the ones who make
the rubber ducky vibrator, right?” Dena asked.
    “Oh yes, but we have a lot more
animals now,” The woman pushed her golden brown hair behind her ears and tapped
the top of the anteater’s nose.   “See, this clit massager nose actually vibrates and moves back and forth really quickly.   You can use it in the bath of course
and when it’s wet it feels more like a tongue.”
    I tilted my head and tried to
imagine getting it on with an anteater. There really was nothing about the
thought that was