Vanity, Vengeance And A Weekend In Vegas (A Sophie Katz Novel) Read Online Free PDF

years,” Leah corrected.
    “Okay, I’m having a crisis and
you think this is a good time to remind me of my real age? As far as I’m
concerned 19 was and always will be ten years ago.” Mr. Katz pressed against me
more insistently. I had forgotten to feed him. I groaned and forced myself to
my feet.
    “Fine, but—”
    “But nothing.” I carefully
stepped over the clutter of photographed memories, left the room and headed
down the stairs to the kitchen, Mr. Katz close at my heels.   “Yes, I’m upset.   But I guarantee you I’m not going to
marry anyone this time around.   At
worst I’ll hook up with the latest waterproof bullet toy in a hotel bathtub.”
    “You need help.”
    “Which is why I’m going to a sex
toy trade show. That will help.”   I
wasn’t at all sure that was true but I was enjoying shocking Leah enough to
pretend.
    “Well just so you know, I’m not
going to do any drugs.”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “I know what kind of things
people do in Vegas.   I know
they…drop things—”
    “Drop things?”   I poured some food into Mr. Katz’ bowl.
He rushed in to eat before I was done and ended up with a small pile of kibble
on the back of his head. “What kind of things do people drop?” I asked as I put
the bag away.   “Inhibitions? Money?
The beat?”
    “Acid.”
    I paused. “I’m not sure more
people drop acid in Vegas than they do eight blocks down from here on Haight
Street.”
    “I just want you to know that I
won’t be doing any of that.”
    “Okay…wait,” I froze, my hand
resting on a drying martini glass. “You’re not suggesting that you’ll be
coming, are you?”
    “Of course I’m coming.”
    “You can’t!” I stammered. “You’re
not invited! You hate Vegas! You’d have to find a last minute babysitter for my
nephew! You’re coordinating Mary Ann’s wedding and that’s only a month away!
You’re a social conservative! No social conservatives at sex-toy-trade shows!
It’s a law, Leah!”
    “Sophie, I am not going to let
you go unchaperoned to Vegas when you’re upset again! Not after what happened
last time!”
    “Oh my God, are you listening to me
at all ? I
am totally over the
lets-have-a-female-Elvis-impersonator-marry-us-in-a-Denny’s-parking-lot phase
of my life!” I pounded my hand against the kitchen counter for emphasis.   “Now I’m in the to-hell-with-men-I’m-buying-a-vibrator
phase! Try to keep up.”
    “And mama will take care of Jack
if I tell her where you’re planning to go.   She remembers what happened last time too.”
    “Leah,” I said, taking the
martini glass in hand and crossing over to the freezer for the vodka, “this is
not a good plan.”  
    “Sophie--”
    “I’m going with friends this
time, not some guy I’ve been dating. There is no risk of matrimony”
    “Humph.”
    “Did you just humph?”   That even got Mr. Katz’ attention. He
glanced up from his meal with an inquisitive stare. Nobody humphed anymore.
    “I really think I should be
there.”
    “It’s not necessary,” I sighed. I
tried to shoot Mr. Katz a look of exasperation but now that we’d finished
humphing he had returned his focus to his meal. “Both Dena and Marcus will be
there to save me from...from the LSD dropping bachelors who will undoubtedly be
trying to drag me to the alter.”
    “I don’t like this.”
    I hopped up on the counter and
took a sip of my drink. I knew the sound of victory when I heard it. “It’s for
the best that you stay here, Leah. Mary Ann needs you.   You know how brides get in the last
thirty days leading up to their wedding.”
    “True,” Leah said reluctantly,
“It’s just that...oh, hold on a moment.” Leah’s voice became more distant as
she pulled away from the receiver,   “Jack, stop that right now.   Pancakes do not go into the DVD player!”
    There was some more muffled
scolding and the protesting cry of my young nephew. “Leah, Leah can you hear
me?” I asked.