Vampires! A Bundle of Bloodsuckers Read Online Free PDF Page A

be happy to tell you about in some future entry). It seems I suck wisdom in through cosmic osmosis. Isn’t that just the bomb?
    And while I’m quite sure my inner hard drive won’t get fried, I can’t know that for sure, and it has become another one of life’s little worries. I mean, how much knowledge, wisdom, and intellect can one individual hold? Even me?
    You might be rightfully asking, what happened to create the brain sucker syndrome? Bloody hell if I know. One day it was sex-and-blood, blood-and-sex, you know, business as usual, and the next day it was Night of the Living Dead . If you figure it out, please contact me through my publisher.
    So due to this unexpected “gift,” I’m continually having to be creative, innovative, and entrepreneurial. I’m already materially wealthy beyond comprehension due to the books, music, art, inventions, businesses, goods, and services I’ve created. Not to mention all the money my devotees have provided over the centuries. But you wouldn’t believe how much energy it takes to be fabulous. Perhaps I haven’t impressed upon you that this “need” to create more places for the knowledge to congregate is actually felt by me as a physical thing. A compulsion. A jones.
    And self-discipline never has been one of my strong suits.
    What does self-discipline have to do with it? Let me tell you. My tendency to take both sex and blood from my “volunteers” means they’ll wind up being empty shells, requiring time-consuming disposal. Of course, another option is that I could pass on the sex and only drink their blood, which – I’ll freely admit – doesn’t come naturally to me. Or I could only have sex and not drink blood. Yeah, that’ll happen. And by the way, the idea that older vampires have less need of blood is actually true. There is less need of it. But strangely, what seems to happen is an increased desire for it. Go figure.
    So, have I left out anything before we continue?
    Well, stake me! How could I be so thoughtless? You want to know what I look like. Of course you do. How silly of me to forget. It’s probably been gnawing away at you. Festering. Driving you mad. I did give you that tantalizing hint about my beautiful physical features. So here it is. Enjoy.
    “Monty, our next contestant hails from ancient Britain, back before any of the fossils in your favorite graveyard were born. This Vampire Goddess knows more about Stonehenge than she’s telling, and I hear she was once romantically linked with a famous Druid. She sloughed off this mortal coil at age 26, freezing herself forever in her current young, shapely form. You will note that she has the much-desired slender hourglass figure, and her large, firm breasts always make a wonderful first impression. Her tall, lean body and long legs seem to arouse naughty thoughts in both sexes, so we’ll be watching where your hands are! As was the norm at the time of her death, her thick, black, silky veil of hair is waist-length, with a subtle sheen that could only come from having undergone a magical transformation, and her eyes are a startling amethyst purple. If that wasn’t enough to turn heads – and expose necks – her face, with her high cheekbones and full, sensuous, wet lips, is breathtaking. And then there’s something about her smile – those cute little sharp canines. Let’s welcome her to our stage . . .”
    Are you breathing heavy? I hope so.

Chapter 2
    S o enough about me. What do you think about me? Sorry. Old joke.
    I have hundreds of hidey-holes. Well, perhaps it’s more accurate to say I have hundreds of pieces of real estate all over the world, and each is equipped with everything I deem necessary to assure a pleasant death coma, a smooth rising and a magnificent unlife.
    But this story is about what happened back in 2009, and at that time I resided in a quaint little town, nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains: Boulder, Colorado. I’d actually discovered this cosmic vortex