Valley of the Dolls Read Online Free PDF Page A

become the next Pavlova.”
    “What’s that?”
    “She was a great dancer.”
    Neely laughed. “That’s for the birds. The star bit. Oh, I think I could be a star. Not with this act. But something funny happens inside of me when I get before an audience. I dance fairly well, but I feel if they applauded loud enough, I could fly. I don’t have a really good voice, but I feel if they liked me, I could do opera. It’s a feeling I get when. I’m out there . . . like they’re all taking me in their arms or something. I talked to Dick and Charlie about it, but they think I’m crazy. They don’t feel a thing.”
    “Neely, maybe you should study, go to acting classes. Maybe you can make it to the top.”
    Neely shook her head. “The odds are too tough. I’ve met too many old-timers on the circuit who told me how they almost made it.”
    “But you’re talking about people who weren’t quite good enough,” Anne said.
    “Listen, no one sticks in show business because it’s got good hours or steady dough. Every kid who goes into it thinks she can make it. But for every Mary Martin, Ethel Merman or Helen Lawson there’re thousands of bit players who almost made it starving in fifth-rate road companies.”
    Anne was silent. She couldn’t argue with Neely’s logic. She gave her makeup a final pat. “All right, Neely, I’ll do what I can with Mr. Bellamy. But who knows, maybe you’ll get the job anyway. They must like your act if they’ve called you back three times.”
    Neely laughed out loud. “That’s what I don’t get. Why have they called us back? How could Helen Lawson like our cockemamie act? Unless every other dance team in town has smallpox or something. Listen, if I thought our act was good, I wouldn’t be nagging at you. I can’t understand why Helen Lawson seems interested—unless she’s got a letch for Charlie. She’s supposed to have eyes for anything in pants, and even though Charlie’s not too bright, he is good looking.”
    “But what would Charlie do if she did like him? After all, there’s your sister.”
    “Oh, he’d lay Helen Lawson if he had to,” Neely said without emotion. “He’d figure he was doing it for my sister in a way. After all, he wouldn’t really enjoy banging Helen. She’s not exactly a great beauty.”
    “Neely, you mean you’d stand still and let that happen? Your sister would never forgive you.”
    “Anne, you not only talk like a virgin but you think like a priest. Look, I’m a virgin, but I do know that sex and love are two different things for a man. Charlie used to live in the cheapest room on the road and send my sister three quarters of his pay check so she and the baby could live nice. But that didn’t mean that once in a while he wouldn’t take a flier with a nice-looking girl on the bill. He just needed sex. . . . It had nothing to do with his love for Kitty and the baby. I’ve hung on to my virginity because I know men put a high value on it, and I want some man to love me the way Charlie loves Kitty. But it’s different with a man. You don’t expect him to be a virgin.”
    The buzzer sounded in Anne’s room. That meant Allen was at the front door. She pressed the button to signal she was on the way down and grabbed her coat and bag. “Come on, Neely, I’ve got to go. Allen may be holding a cab.”
    “Wait—got any more of those terrific chocolate marsh-mallow cookies left?” Neely began poking around in the small closet.
    “Take the whole box,” Anne said, holding the door open.
    “Oh, marvelous!” Neely followed her, cradling the box. “I’ve got a library copy of Gone with the Wind, a quart of milk and all these cookies. Wow! What an orgy!”
    They went to a little French restaurant. Allen listened attentively as she told him about her new assignment. When she finished, he gulped down the remainder of his coffee and called for the check.
    “Anne, I think the time has come.”
    “Time for what?”
    “Time for the moment of