Vada Faith Read Online Free PDF Page A

back against the headboard of the bed.
    “Things haven’t been exactly right between us lately.”
    “Maybe not,” I said arranging a pillow behind my head, “but it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s me.” I took a minute to find the right words. “You know, I’ve always wanted to do something big with my life. Something meaningful.”
    I was wide awake now and looking at a full moon through the window. I took that moon as an omen. Omen or not, I decided, it was as good a time as any to talk to him.
    “Something has happened to me,” I said, again choosing my words carefully. “I don’t entirely understand it and I guess I don’t expect you to. I want to do something special for someone. Something important. Something some women wouldn’t or couldn’t do. I want to help this poor childless couple have a baby.”
    There. It was out. I breathed easier now.
    “Help a poor couple what?” He asked, leaning toward me. “Have a baby?”
    “Yes, sweetheart,” I said. “Help them have a baby. A child. Their very own child.”
    “What on earth? How could you help someone have a baby? I don’t get it.”
    “I want to be a surrogate mother, honey.” I leaned over and took his hand. “There’s this wonderful couple I’ve met who can’t have kids. I want to help them realize their dream. They desperately want to have a child of their own but they can’t.” His hand went limp in mine. “I want to have it for them,” I said clinging to his lifeless hand.
    He pulled away from me.
    “Now,” I said, “it would be their baby from the start.” I continued to explain though he had turned away. “I’ll just womb it.” I tried to sound matter of fact like the pamphlet I’d read. However my heart pounded all the way up into my throat. “You know,” I said feeling like a balloon whose air had just gushed out of it. “Give it a place to nest until it’s born.”
    “Vada Faith!” He sat down again. “Nest it until it’s born? Why would you want to do a crazy thing like that?”
    Staring across at him I could see his muscles tighten in the moonlight. He ran his fingers through his hair and slumped down in the chair.
    Though I couldn’t see his face I knew it was red and his brows were tightly knitted. He was a methodical man and I could almost hear his brain at work as he tried to figure out why his wife would want to do such a strange thing.
    “You know how sick you were when you had the twins,” he said, his voice controlled. “How rough that whole thing was on you. You’re asking for trouble.” He was quiet for a minute. Finally he said more calmly, “No, you can’t do this crazy thing, Vada Faith. Nope. No way. I won’t allow it.”
    “I’m not asking for trouble,” I said, running my fingers through my short blond hair, “and I’m not asking for your permission, thank you. I am capable of making a decision on my own. Just like you do, Mr. Always Do What He Wants.”
    “Why don’t you just shoot me, then, Vada Faith? Go on. Get my old hunting rifle out of the closet and just blow my brains out.” He slumped back in the chair.
    “Oh, stop it. You sound like my twin, the Eternal Drama Queen.” I smoothed out the sheets around me. “For once this isn’t about you.” My voice softened. “It’s not about her or about the girls. It’s about me. I have to make up my own mind. Honey, please, tell me you’ll support me whatever I decide. You said you love me.”
    “I do love you,” he said, picking his words carefully. I could hear uneasiness in his voice.
    “Well, then, I need to know. Are you with me on this surrogacy or not?” I felt myself teetering on the brink of something big. I wanted him to say yes — yet I was scared. There was no going back once it was done. If he pulled me into his arms and begged me not to do it, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. He didn’t. I waited until he finally spoke.
    “I don’t know anything about surrogacy, you know