Vacations From Hell Read Online Free PDF Page A

it!
    My first time. I have to admit, I’m kind of proud of myself.
    Once I’ve drained his body, I heave it over the railing and watch him disappear into the blackness below.
    After I hear a soft splash, I let myself out.
     
    I find Hailey and Liz alone on the pool deck.
    Hailey is lying across a lounge chair, her eyes wide open, her arms and legs trembling.
    “Yay, you did it!” Liz says. “Full?”
    “Stuffed,” I say. “Extra delicious. Fantabulous. Even better than Checker Boy, or the old bartender, or hot tub girl.”
    “Fresh is always better than leftovers.”
    “You are absolutely right.”
    “Although you didn’t taste Ali or Carly,” Liz says. “They were pretty tasty.”
    I look down at Hailey, who’s staring into the sky, still trembling. “I thought she’d be overboard by now. You decided to change her instead?”
    Liz nods. “Yeah. You don’t mind, do you? I like her. I think she’ll be fun. I gave her the choice, of course. She said she was up for something new. She doubts her mom will even notice she’s different.”
    Laughter wafts from the other end of the deck. We look up. Two college guys are walking over to us. One of the guys is wearing a Yankees hat.
    Hailey pushes herself up on her elbows.
    “You okay?” I ask.
    She nods, and then, her hand no longer shaking, points to the guy in the hat and whispers, “Dibs.”

Part One
    VACATION CHECKLIST
sundress
sandals
black bikini in case I am feeling brave
purple one-piece in case I am being chicken
stovetop autoclave
sunglasses
crushed clamshell
snake venom
moth wings
iPod
    SELF-IMPROVEMENT GOALS
    This year at the Outer Banks I will:
be nicer to Theo, who Mom swears looks up to me even if he shows it by putting dead starfish in my shoes
review stuff with Mom alone after coven meetings so I don’t forget it all before we get home
ignore Kathleen Pruitt’s bitchery because I am too good to stoop to her level
    “I know you’re methodical, but this is ridiculous.”
    Cecily Harper looked up from her notepad to see her father standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest and a smile on his face. She underlined her last words with a theatrical flourish. “You know, making lists is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.”
    “Honey, I’m used to your lists,” her father said. “You started making them as soon as you could spell. But your suitcase—you packed all your clothes by color.”
    She looked at her open suitcase on the bed. The whites were nestled at one end, the blacks at the other, with the brighter shades in between. Shrugging, Cecily said, “Well, how do you do it?”
    Affectionately he tousled her hair. This was slightly annoying, because she’d just fixed her ponytail, but Cecily didn’t worry about it for very long. She was muchmore worried about the fact that her father had caught sight of something unusual in her suitcase.
    He picked up the vial of moth wings and frowned. “What is this?”
    “Uh.” Cecily tried to think of a lie, but she couldn’t. “Um…”
    His expression shifted from curiosity to disgust. “Cecily, are these—bug wings?”
    Tell him the truth.
    “Yes.” Flushed with daring, Cecily added, “They’re moth wings for magic spells.”
    Dad stared at her. “What?”
    “Cecily, don’t tease your father.” Her mother stepped into Cecily’s bedroom and briskly took the jar. “Simon, these are soap flakes. Bubble bath. They make them look like moth wings and eye of newt and all that sort of magical stuff now. I think it’s some Harry Potter thing.”
    “Harry Potter.” Dad chuckled. “Those merchandising guys don’t miss a trick, do they?”
    Mom tucked the jar back into the suitcase and shot her daughter a warning look. But her voice was cheery as she said, “Let’s hurry up, guys. We should leave for the airport in about fifteen minutes. Sweetheart, would you check on Theo? The last time I saw him, he was trying to sneak Pudge into his carry-on.”
    “For