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said that I have a real chance. I really ain’t never talked about God a lot or went to church, mostly cause my family didn’t, but I guess you should pray for me. I think that’s gonna help.
    Love,
    Antonio
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    April 8, 1990
Dear Antonio,
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    How can you ask me not to come to your trial? Baby you KNOW I gotta be there for my man! How you gonna
ask me to not come down there so I can see you every day? I’m gonna get on the train and come to the courthouse every day. Fuck school, cause I ain’t learning shit in that dump anyway. Everybody been looking at me at lunch, in the halls, in the courtyard, talking bout “Ah-hah, yo man locked up.” Like you was a nobody or something. These the same motherfuckers used to laugh in your face, used to be your friends. And to think, we actually worry about who like us and who don’t, when even the people who act like they like you ain’t got your back when you need it. Plus Mommy don’t care if I go. All she can think about is Roy, so she won’t know no better. I told you that your lawyer and the popos and everybody else been trying to get me to talk, but I told em I don’t know shit. But if they want me to say something good, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss that for the world. I’m gonna look real good for you too, baby. Every day I’m gonna have a new outfit, something fierce and sexy, so you can have something to think about at night when you can’t sleep cause you thinking about being with me. And don’t worry about me hearing anything at the trial that’s gonna make me stop loving you. THAT is never going to happen. I ain’t never gonna stop loving you as long as I live. So, make sure that you look for my face out in the audience, whenever you thinking about giving up or thinking the judge don’t like you, know that you got somebody out there who love you and got your back.
    Love, your wife,
    Natasha

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    April 12, 1990
Hey boo,
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    Never thought the infamous Antonio Michael Lawrence would be saying this, but God I miss school!!! I miss that punk ass principal Mr. Diggs, I miss them damn security guards chasing my ass around and making me go to class, I even miss those nasty slices of pizza at lunch. Yo those things taste like rubber, but I don’t think anything could be worse than McDonald’s all the damn time. I miss wilding out in the hallway and joshing with Black in class, casing on people and shit. Talking about each other’s moms and each other’s dicks. I even miss my teachers, a little bit at least. I miss driving them up the wall. Madame Girard still crazy, still running around with them bright ass colors on talking about she celebrating Mardi Gras? Yo that bitch was crazy. I know she used to be cussing me out in French and knew I hadn’t studied that shit so I wouldn’t be able to tell. You said Mr. Lombard getting on your nerves? What’s new? Mr. Cook still bringing in his whack ass rhymes, trying to get us to listen to that shit? He need to stick to teaching English and leave hip-hop to the pros. But I guess I really liked Mr. Cook cause he came to work looking nice every day in his suits and shit, although I don’t know why he was dressing up just for us. But he used to tell me all the time, Antonio, you gotta dress for success. That’s what he always used to say when I rode him about them tight pants and his shoes shining like new
money. I mean, his wife is mad fine, so I don’t know why she didn’t dress him better. He used to say with that funny ass voice, Black man got hard enough boat to row in this country without being harshly judged for their appearance. You need to pull your pants up and tuck your shirt in young man. Or he used to call me son sometimes, and I imagined he was my daddy. Member all that “Crackdown on Putdowns” shit he tried when he got sick of us making fun of him for that