Up In A Heaval Read Online Free PDF Page A

the stairs. He paused at the top. “Oh, is it all right if I tell them your real nature? That you're not a dragon?”
    She nodded, trusting him.
    He opened the door, which wasn't locked, and stepped into the brighter light of the real world. He saw a zombie standing guard. “Where is Breanna?”
    “Thash,” the zombie said, pointing with a rotten finger.
    “Thank you.” Umlaut walked in that direction. When he came to a door, he knocked.
    It opened. Breanna stood there. “Oh, yes, I almost forgot. What's on your mind?”
    “First, I'm ready to go. So is the dragon.”
    “The dragon!”
    “It's not really a dragon. It's a serpent. It was trapped in the dungeon.”
    “You mean it doesn't belong there?”
    “That's right. I guess it happened to come just about the time you took over the castle, so you didn't know.”
    “For sure!”
    “So we figure to travel together for a while, see the sights, you know? I cleaned out the muck, so it's reasonably clean now. But maybe if you ever have any other creature down there, you should set up some, uh, sanitary facilities, so it doesn't have to mess the floor.”
    “For sure,” she repeated,
    “And we found some letters.”
    “Letters?”
    “I picked one up. I thought it might be important.” He handed it to her.
    Breanna studied it. “The Demon Jupiter! You bet it's important! This is from Mundania. How'd it get down in the dungeon?”
    “There seems to be a—a mail slot. There's a pile of letters there. I guess you didn't know about that either.”
    “There's oodles we didn't know about running this castle,” she agreed. “The Zombie Master didn't put much in writing, so maybe he didn't remember everything. At least I can take care of this letter.”
    “How can you deliver it? I understand he's far away.”
    “On another planet,” she agreed. “I happen to know him. I'll forward this to him on the Internet.”
    “What kind of net?”
    “It's an extension of the Xanth Xone. I've got a Mesh site there. Here, I'll show you. I'll send this as an E-mail attachment.” She led the way to another chamber. “Com Pewter set up a station here,” she explained, “so we can connect.”
    Umlaut saw some kind of metallic contraption with a glassy screen. Breanna punched some buttons, and the screen showed a series of little boxes and arrows. She punched more buttons, and words appeared: DEMON JUPITER: LETTER FORWARDED BY ATTACHMENT. She fed the envelope into a slot, and it disappeared. In a moment another message appeared: ATTACHMENT: LETTER TO DEMON JUPITER.
    “Now I'll push the Send button and it's done,” she said. She did so, and the screen showed a letter sprouting wings and flying away. Then it went blank. “Done.”
    “That goes to Jupiter?” Umlaut asked dubiously.
    “For sure. Now let's see to your serpent.”
    “First I need to check around outside. There may be another serpent lurking.”
    “And they don't get along?”
    “You might say that. I need to be sure it's not there.”
    “No problem. I'll have the zombies do a search.” She went to the zombie standing guard. “Hey, Sludge! Tell Fay Tall to organize a search around the castle. Are there any serpents there?”
    “Yeshum,” the zombie agreed and shuffled off.
    “Fay Tall is a zombie who appears to be fully alive for half a day at a time,” Breanna explained. “Then he reverts to normal. He hates it.”
    “I guess I'd hate to revert to being a zombie,” Umlaut said.
    “You got that wrong. It's the fully alive state he hates. It sets him apart from the other zombies.”
    Umlaut was taken aback. He decided not to argue the case. “Anyway, if the way is clear, can you open the dungeon door so Drivel can slither out?”
    “For sure. I wish we'd known he didn't belong. He didn't say anything.”
    Umlaut decided that the serpent's gender was no business of anyone else's. “Serpents don't talk.”
    “So how do you know so much about him?”
    “He understands human talk. I talked and