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anger at the speed of light.
     
    “Are you fucking kidding me, Daniel? Have you gone completely mad? You must think I’m really bloody stupid to imagine in your delusional world that somehow I would want to throw away all my morals—slap the institution of marriage in the face and say ‘screw you, world—I’m with a married man, breaking up his family and everything is hunky dory, and just fan-bloody-tastic.’” I paused in thought. “Wow. You never cease to amaze me. She still lives with you! You share a home with her! What do you want me to do? Move into your family home downstairs so we can fuck while she is doing your laundry upstairs? Seriously, I could strangle you right now—you make me so angry!”
     
    He chuckled. Just chuckled.
     
    “Anger is an emotion, Siena. If you didn’t care about me — us , you wouldn’t feel anything.”
     
    I scoffed down the line, “You are just unbelievable. You’re so self-centered you just think the whole world loves you. Well, news flash, Danny boy, they don’t! If the papers knew what a bastard you were, I’m sure the peace and glory that surrounds you daily would quickly vanish.” I stopped talking, gasping for more air before continuing my rant.
    “ Luckily for you, I’m not into causing pain in other people’s lives, so I’m not going to call the papers. Just leave me alone. Got it?”
     
    He laughed, “Or what? You’ll remember how we used to be and come to your senses?”
     
    “Senses?” I shrieked. “I’m not getting any younger, Daniel; I want to be with someone where I feel like my life is going somewhere. Not now, but someday I want to get married, have children, have the ‘perfect life;’ and I know that in this day and age it’s next to impossible to have the ‘perfect life,’ but good on me for hoping—wishing that there is something, someone out there who wants the same things as me.”
     
    He sighed. I could tell he was getting bored—after all, this was probably the most he had ever heard me speak.
     
    “Daniel, you met a wonderful woman a long time ago, fell in love with her, married, and did the whole family thing. You built an empire, and now you live like a freaking king. You’ve got it all—you have the ‘perfect life.’ Don’t screw it up, or try and screw up my chance of one day having half of what you’ve got.”
     
    My voice cracked. I could feel the tears making their way back to the starting line of my eyeballs. Women’s emotions—are so emotional .
     
    “I’m in love with you, Siena.”
     
    I sighed as salty tears ran down my cheeks, my chin shaking uncontrollably.
     
    I whispered in despair, “Daniel, you don’t even know what love is.”
     
    Hanging up the phone, I curled into a ball, sobbing hysterically on the floor. Here was another Alice in Wonderland moment; I sure hoped I wouldn’t drown in all my tears.
     

6
     
    “Hey, sexy girl—wanna take me for another ride?”
     
    I felt the corner of my mouth creep up in amusement as I read his text message.
     
    Joshua was such fun—so happy-go-lucky about everything. It didn’t matter to him about the next day or what was going to happen in the future; he was just living for now. He reminded me a lot of myself when I was a teenager—he was completely carefree, exuberant.
     
    I laughed as I playfully texted back, picturing his head of unruly curls in my mind. “I think you need to get a license.”
     
    “How ‘bout you put me through the test?  I’m a good learner.”
     
    I smirked, feeling my spirit lift as I replied, “I’m sure you are.”
     
    Thirty minutes later there was a loud, aggressive knock on the door. Quickly getting off the couch, and wrapping my kimono around my body, I went to get it. Wonder who it could be at this hour ? I thought.
     
    Fumbling with the lock, I pulled open the heavy door and peered out above the security chain.
     
    “Hey.” He looked up from his feet slowly, in what looked like an attempt at