Unlovable Read Online Free PDF

time flew. Occasionally, I’d hear
Seth read a line with exaggerated drama and the children would
laugh. I tried not to look over at him, yet my eyes were drawn
there as if by some unseen force. He was glowing. He seemed at home
with the little first graders, three of whom were sitting on his
lap. I was taken aback by this side of him.
    Halfway through the hour, Mrs. Mathews
had us switch places so the children could spend equal time with
both of us, though Noah insisted he stay with me. I looked at Seth
as we crossed the room. He smiled and winked. I dropped my head as
my face turned at least four shades of red, and my mind flooded
with suspicion. Why was he acting this way? Did he think I was
going to be another notch in his belt?
    Elise tugged at my arm. “What’s wrong,
Miss Maggie?” I didn’t realize my expression had deteriorated into
a scowl. Nudging the negative thoughts out, I began reading to my
new group.
    By the end of class, my ill feelings
toward Seth had almost vanished, that was until he slipped his arm
around my shoulders while we walked down the hall toward his car. I
pulled away and gave him an icy glare.
    “ Sorry,” he said, wrestling
with a smile. “My car is out this way.” I glanced around and
realized I had turned down the wrong hall. I nodded curtly and
walked toward the correct door, completely humiliated by my
childish overreaction.
    I settled quietly into his car, and we
drove back to the high school, again, in tortured silence. If I
didn’t know better, I’d swear he was as nervous as I
was.
    Clearing my throat, I attempted to
make conversation as we approached the school. “The kids really
like you,” I said.
    “ Yeah, probably because I’m
so hot!” he teased, I think… I hope!
    Augh! Melody!
    “ You know, I’m surprised the
three of us can fit in your car.”
    “ Three? I do believe there
are only two.”
    “ Me, you, and your
over-sized ego. I believe that makes three.” I jumped out before
the car came to a complete stop, slamming the door shut behind me.
I was trying to placate some of my guilt, though why I should feel
guilty I had no idea. It was Melody who criticized him, not
me.
    “ You’re welcome,” he shouted
to my backside.
    Just because he does something kind
doesn’t mean he’s not an egomaniac, I reasoned, still trying to
salve my wounded pride.
    Later at lunch, I cut through the
cafeteria on my way to the library. The placed reeked of rotted
food and gym socks, not the most enticing smells for a lunchroom.
Divided into rows of three were forty long gray plastic tables with
attached benches. Spaced evenly across the ceiling were a dozen
humming fluorescent lights and down the center of the room sat
three black garbage cans spaced between the tables, adding to the
ambiance.
    Seth and Hillary were snuggled
together at their usual table near the front of the room, all
giggles and jokes. Never once did he look my way, which was just
fine with me. Who needed an arrogant snob in their life? I had
enough to deal with without adding him to the list, including the
nagging voice in the back of my head telling me it was wrong to
judge him. It really needed to shut up!
    I arrived home from school to find my
slimy neighbor, Mr. Hoffman from across the road, walking back
toward his haggard gray trailer. My guess was that he had spent the
afternoon with my mother and a bottle of vodka, something he seemed
to be doing all too regularly over the past three weeks. I opened
the door and found my mother passed out on the couch and surmised I
was right.
    My mom used to have lots
of friends coming
by to visit until I realized they were using her for what little
money we had. After I’d gone to the bank and set up a checking
account with direct deposit, and kept the checkbook hidden, the supposed
friendships evaporated. Except for Hoffman. He’d moved in a few
months ago and they’d become fast friends. He gave me the
creeps.
    I set about cleaning the house so not
to think