hair.
I steel myself, trying not to break down even though I very badly want to, and wiggle out of Samâs arms. I look towards John, but heâs already standing over Marina, his hands glowing softly as he holds her head. Thereâs a look of deep concentration on his face as he heals her, and it takes so long that I start to hold my breath, worried that the damage Setrákus Ra inflicted is too great. After a long moment where everyone watches in total silence, John steps back with a drained sigh. Marina shifts a bit on her gurney but doesnât wake up.
âIs she . . . ?â Adam starts to ask.
âIt was bad, but sheâll be okay,â John replies, his voice completely neutral. âShe just needs some rest.â
With that, John steps away from the group and walks up the ramp of the ship.
âJohn, hold on,â I hear myself say, even though Iâve got no idea what my follow-up is going to be.
He pauses and looks over his shoulder at me, although he doesnât meet my eyes.
âIâm sorry that we couldnâtâthat I couldnât protect her,â I tell him, my voice getting shaky and, even though Iâm mortified to hear it, a little desperate. âI swear I killedhim, John. I put one right in his goddamn heart.â
John nods, and I can see a vein in his neck twitching, like heâs trying to control himself.
âWe arenât to blame for the actions of our enemies,â John replies to me, and the line sounds canned, practiced, like he knew this conversation was coming. Without another word, he climbs the ramp and disappears into Lexaâs ship.
A somber silence follows. The military personnel return to the cabin, which must have some pretty major underground levels to accommodate them all, and Nine starts to lead our group inside after them. I gaze after John, Sam lingering at my side.
âIâm sorry, Six, but you didnât.â
Itâs Ella. She stands next to me, looking up at me with those eyes empty of everything but swirling Loric energy. I must look shaky again, because Sam puts his arm around me, holding me up.
âDidnât what?â
âKill him,â Ella replies. âYou hurt him bad, but . . . I can still feel him out there. Setrákus Ra is alive.â
CHAPTER THREE
AS SOON AS IâM ON BOARD THE SHIP, BERNIE Kosar steps in front of me. His tail droops between his legs, and he stretches his front paws out, arching his spine low, his head down. Itâs like heâs bowing to me, or expecting me to swat him with a rolled-up newspaper. From deep in his belly, he lets out a low, mournful howl.
It takes me a second to realize why heâs doing this. Back in Chicago, the last time I saw Sarah, Iâd sent BK with her. Iâd told BK to keep her safe.
Oh God, BK, itâs not your fault , I say to him telepathically. I kneel down, put my arm around his furry neck and hug him close. BK slobbers wetly against my cheek and whines. Tears string the corners of my eyes, the first ones that have come since I heard Sarahâs fading voice piped over my satellite phone.
The tears arenât for me. First Six, now BKâthe guilt theyâre feeling, it wrecks me. Sarah was their friend,too. Theyâre feeling this loss just like I am, and itâs compounded by the fact that they both think they let me down, that Iâm going to blame them. I shouldâve spoken to Six, shouldâve said something more, but I just couldnât find the right words. I shouldâve told her that there are only two people I hold responsible for what happened to Sarah.
Setrákus Ra.
And myself.
Iâve never been good at expressing those kinds of feelings, talking about myself, my fears and weaknesses. Really, thereâs only one person Iâve ever felt truly comfortable opening up to about that stuff.
Sarah.
I stand up, walk farther into the ship and see her. In the shipâs dim lighting,
Elizabeth Amelia Barrington