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snorts. “Why would she care about him? Did she hit her head or something?”
    “Look, it makes total sense.” I stamp, impatient. “He’s the only source of the Osiris antidote they were working on. Maybe he’s the only hope for stopping the zombie apocalypse. And if he’s gone missing, I’m guessingthat just about every man and his dog are looking for him around about now.”
    “And us, too?” Alice groans. “Honestly, why does everything have to revolve around that stupid boy?” She shakes her head. “Like he’s worth it.” She looks at me. “Maybe you think he is worth it?”
    I try to keep a straight face while I think of the snarkiest put-down. Unluckily, I fail.
    Alice stands and walks over to me. “So where is he?”
    I look at the phone again. “The other numbers — we decode them, they’ll tell us!”
    The LOW BATTERY screen flashes again, making a more insistent beep this time. Rats.
    “The other numbers are going to have to wait. Not much we can do about finding Smitty until we find a way out of this room, anyway.” I switch the phone off, and shove it down into my boot.
    “That vent thing.” Alice looks up. “There’s a way out?”
    I think about the right turn I didn’t take. “There might be.”
    She sighs. “Vent it is, then.”
    I busy myself with trying to make a tower out of the cabinet and the chair, so that we can reach the vent, while Alice makes a big deal out of packing a small bag with heaven knows what.
    “Hey,” I call to her. “Pitch me that sheet, huh?”
    “My covers?” She crinkles her nose as she picks up the bedsheet. “Why do you want them?”
    “What, you’re going to be sleeping here again?” I counter. “I need the sheet to make a rope.”
    “Great, Rapunzel.” Alice clears her throat theatrically. “Are you expecting me to shimmy up it?”
    “Rapunzel was hair, not rope. And she was climbing down, not up. So —”
    “Bobby, like anyone cares!” She tosses her head and clambers up onto the cabinet with me. “Give me that!” She snatches at the sheet. “Like you’re even going to be able to —”
    “Hands off!” I snatch it back, and we tussle with it pathetically, wobbling together on top of the cabinet.
    Clunk .
    Our heads whip round to the direction of the door. It’s the lock. It’s unlocked itself.
    “Thank god.” Alice drops her end of the sheet rope and makes to jump off the cabinet.
    “Wait!” I grab her arm.
    She scowls at me. “What? The door’s unlocked. Let’s go for it while we can!”
    She’s probably right, but there’s something stopping me. “It’s just …” I can’t take my eyes off the door. “It’s been a long time since they locked the doors. Nobody’s around, you’ve seen that. We don’t know who could be out there.”
    Alice rolls her eyes at me. “You’ve been asleep too long. Come on! We didn’t survive before by wasting time thinking about anything too much.”
    That’s true enough …
    “Go on, then,” I tell her. “Go take a peek.”
    “What, me?” She sighs. “That was never my job. You’re the She– Man versus Wild in all of this.”
    I take a breath and am about to tell her exactly how wrong what she just said is on Oh-So-Many levels, when —
    Thud. Thud. Thud .
    We look at the door.
    Thud. Thud. Thud .
    The handle jiggles. The bed is in the way, but the door moves slightly with each pounding.
    Alice clings to me. “Oh my god, they’re here,” she whimpers.
    “The bed should hold them,” I say, and I’m convinced it will, right up to the point when it doesn’t.
    Thud .
    The last one was the hardest, and the door opens, juddering against the bed, which skids forward on its wheels. Frickin’ brakes. They picked a great time to unlock . The bed hits our cabinet, and we are thrown like Angry Birds, launched into the air. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alice land back on the cabinet on all fours with the skill of a baby monkey, but I’m not in such great shape. I land