Unfallen Read Online Free PDF Page A

air to scream, decided against it.
    When I could manage it, I sat up again. My brain was clicking like metal balls, shuddering inside my skull. “No. No . Nuh-uh. No way.”
    He got real quiet, stared at me instead of the window. Just a kid, except there was a pinprick of red way far back in those black pupils.
    It didn’t scare me.
    Much.
    But my throat was kind of dry. “So each side has their Bible and they both say different things. Where does that leave us, huh? I’m guessing either way it ends pretty badly.”
    He shrugged, pointed shoulders coming up, and for a moment it was like being at Holy Camp again, sneaking away with him to sit and talk aimlessly. I wished I had a smoke. But he was listening. Hard.
    I couldn’t hold his hand any tighter. I was losing feeling in my fingers. But I didn’t ease up. “Let’s just get out. Go somewhere. South, north, somewhere there’s not a lot of people. Just get away and stay away. They can’t do any of this without you, can they?”
    He thought this over, chewing on his lower lip. “It might not work. I mean, I’m the Antichrist. You just don’t retire from that, or—”
    “They can’t do anything to you, though. So you just let it go. Let them do whatever they want to each other as long as they leave us out of it. Right? Or do you want to be a camp counselor instead of a kid? You want to be the one peeking through the cherubs and sending the Myrmidons around?” Why couldn’t I say exactly what I wanted to? This was important . Frustration boiled up inside me. “It’s the same thing, whether it’s you or them doing it. Why not just derez ourselves right out? Just you and me. Do something better. Why not?”
    “It…” His mouth worked.
    I couldn’t believe this hadn’t occurred to him before. “ Seriously . The cherubs are gone, the Myrmidons didn’t see us, what’s to say we weren’t disappeared with the rest of them? And as for…as for the rest, God and all that, they can’t make you, can they? What can they do to you? A big fat nothing, right? Let them have their big war or whatever without you. See how far they get.”
    His fingers loosened a little. “If I…” He licked his lips, glanced away at the window like a cherub might be watching, and shook his head. Glared at me. “If I do, will you stick with me? Promise?”
    Well, who else do I have? Uncle Irving? Don’t make me laugh. Mattie? If she’s not derezzed over the border then she’s probably vanished. “I promise. I like you, Rob. I really do.”
    “Really?” He looked about three years old, and hopeful. It was hard to believe he was…what he said he was. The red pinpricks in his pupils were gone.
    “Really.” Our fingers loosened. I was glad, because my hand was sweating something awful and my whole arm was threatening to cramp up. “I’m hungry. Are you hungry? They prolly have vendings.”
    “Starving.” He looked like it, too. “Julie, what if they try to make me do it?”
    “Then we never really had a chance and it’s all been a game.” I found out my legs would work and pushed myself up. The train’s smooth rollicking turned into a rhythm. I didn’t even know where we were going.
    Rob grabbed my hand in both of his. We stood there for a couple seconds, looking at each other, and heat painted itself up my throat, flushing my cheeks. The duffel bag between us slumped, dispirited, like it just wanted a shower and a plate of Mattie’s roast chicken.
    I could relate. My stomach made a noise like a monster in a cavern, and that managed to crack us both up. We laughed, in a kind of hysterical-screamy way I’ve heard at a lot of Camps. It means the worst is pretty much over. Or at least, that you think it is.
    “Come on.” I tugged at him. “Let’s find something to eat. Then I hope you have a smoke. I’m dying for one.”
    He unfolded himself, gingerly. “Yeah. They can’t give us demerits for smoking on a train, either.”
    “Cool.” I took a deep breath,