Besides,” he spins me around. “What do you care what the others think? I am the only one who matters. And you’ve already inspired me.”
“You’re not just saying that?” I whisper.
“No,” he tells me firmly. “I love you, Lilly. But, that love has not swayed my decision to put you on the board. You are capable. That is the most important thing. You can see things objectively. You are not blinded by passion or emotion or sentiment. In a way,” he chuckles, “you can be as cold-hearted as I am.”
“Oh, that makes me feel stellar,” I grumble. “I’m coming there, before all these successful businessmen with credentials and diplomas and MBA’s behind their names as… who? Some little girl with a broken arm?”
I push away from Jeremy. “This is ridiculous. It’s not going to work.”
His eyes narrow. “I’ve already made my decision.”
“Yeah? Well un make it,” I snap. I pace back and forth. “Jeremy, this is too much. I feel like a fraud.”
“You are not.”
“I can’t handle the responsibility of a billion-dollar company. I can’t, Jeremy! I’m not you.”
“You’re more like me than you think,” he says slowly. “You just haven’t recognized it yet.”
I shake my head. “You’re delusional.”
“Or maybe, I’m realistic. Don’t think I don’t know the spot I’m placing you in. The pressure will be enormous. Yet I have every confidence that you will thrive.”
“How can you be so sure?” I challenge.
He gives a secret grin. “Your behavior with me, for one. Every possible challenge or threat I’ve thrown at you, you’ve overcome and come out stronger. This is hardly the scariest situation you’ve faced.”
“It’s different when it’s just you,” I say. “Now there’s going to be an audience. For everything I do.”
“Yes. There will.”
“Don’t you think that’s just slightly intimidating?”
“I think it can be outright terrifying…” He cranes his head to the side. “…for a person weaker than you.”
“Jeremy, I don’t know where you got this skewed impression of me, but honestly, I am not ready for this!”
“If I say you are, it means you are. This is my company. Remember? Its success is a vital part of who I am. Do you think I’d just throw that away?”
“Who knows, with you?” I mumble.
“What?”
My head snaps up. “Nothing.”
“Good. Now, Lilly,” Jeremy steps toward me. He takes my hand and makes me face him. With his other, he tilts my chin up. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?” He lowers his voice. “I know it’s not the other board members. You’ve met them before. I saw you on the job you were given last. You’re intrepid. So it’s not them. It’s something else.” He meets me eyes. “Tell me, so I can help you.”
I hesitate. “What if I…” I swallow. “What if I disappoint you?
He shocks me by laughing. Even though it’s not his intention, it’s a hit to my ego.
“You have all these grand expectations of me,” I mutter. “It’s your pressure that’s frightening, Jeremy. It’s like you’re trying to mold me into someone I’m not.”
“Nonsense,” he tells me. “You are exactly who you are. That is why you can’t disappoint me, Lilly. My expectations are perfectly in line with your abilities.”
Yeah, right , I think.
“Now, are we done here?” he asks. He looks at his watch. “It’s half past. Simon is waiting.” He takes me by the arm and leads me out. “Let’s go.”
The introduction to the Board goes exactly as I envisioned it.
Horribly.
Oh, they were all polite and complimentary. But I could feel every single pair of eyes on me. Watching. Weighing. Judging.
Before I even walked into the room, their minds were already made up. This was a display of cronyism and nothing more.
I saw the looks they shared with each other when Jeremy introduced me in my official position.
By the time all of them leave the room, and I’m left